Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML
Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Clearly, your boyfriend is a collection of cockroaches in a skin suit.
Yudith 28
Yes, the boyfriend is clearly bringing some "friends" along when he visits you.
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Comments (6)
Plop 17
It's easy to figure out. Are they wearing tiny black suits, sunglasses and speak to each other in walkie-talkies? Carrying tiny suitcases maybe? Alternatively, you might be dating Edgar the bug from Men in Black.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Clearly, your boyfriend is a collection of cockroaches in a skin suit.
RichardPencil 32
This species of roach has an affinity for male genitalia. Did you not notice their name?
Yudith 28
Yes, the boyfriend is clearly bringing some "friends" along when he visits you.
Jennij717 4
He could unintentionally be bringing them with him
Justkidding100 41
he could be intentionally bringing them so you have to make the drive instead
Sinshine 28
"Today and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks"... Weird way of saying he visited you 2-3 times.