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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 04:01

Today, my dog got out and ran off at 8 p.m., so I had 11 friends and family looking in the freezing cold night for it until 11:30 p.m. Turns out, the dog was locked in the garage the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 1 315

How could you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 16:00

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 180

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

By faul - 26/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 218

Public surprise

By Pants-Girl - 24/11/2019 08:00 - Canada

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 2 533

RIP Robbie Coltrane

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 05:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I learned that my dog died of sepsis. Fuck you, sepsis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 112

Weird compliment, but OK

By prettyconstipated - 09/03/2021 14:02

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 126

Good one, guys, thanks

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 00:01

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 183

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 10:59

Today, my dad completely disregards my mental health, insists mental disorders are just excuses for laziness in my generation, so even though I have crippling depression, at times he has no sympathy and will mercilessly bully me into “snapping out of it” and to "get a damn job already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 490

Waning

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 02:00

Today, my spouse gave me the gift of hugging me. I'm so touch-starved, I cried. I can see our relationship crumbling but I'm the only one who seems to want to fix it. Our kid saw me and I can't even explain how sad it made me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 160

Facebook political debates

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 01:01 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I found out that my father uses, "You eat poo for breakfast!" as a comeback during political arguments on Facebook. He’s 60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 117

Daddy issues

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 00:00

Today, all other moms I know have cute stories about their husbands panicking during the birth. Not me, mine flew to Vegas the week I was due and solicited an undercover female officer. He’s not held the baby yet, he’s still in jail for resisting arrest and contempt of court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 208

Life is unfair

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, my son, who is on the autism spectrum, was given a detention at school because he called another child fat in response to being called a "fat Indian curry muncher". The other child got away with it because he started crying. Oh and afterwards he called my son dumb for getting detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 169

Red flags

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 00:01

Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 234

Prank culture

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 00:00

Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 203

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00