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The all-time greatest FMLs

Social parasites

By BlackBear1996 - 04/11/2021 05:00

Today, I blocked my landlord on social media messengers because he wouldn't stop trying to get with me, while living in a house with him, his wife, and kids. I wasn't interested, and wanted to be respectful and protect my living situation. My disinterest upset him. I now have until next month to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 118

It's actually illegal in the UK

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 04:00

Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 129

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 437

Dancing Queen

By now what? - 09/05/2021 23:59

Today, after my dad told me to sign my daughter up for expensive dance lessons as a birthday present, and she was ecstatic and very dedicated, I asked him for the payment for this month. He replied, "Oh, she wanted more than one lesson?" Now she won’t stop crying and I have no way to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 150

Stay safe out there

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, for the third time in less than a week, my dumbass roommate has a bunch of friends over. None of them are wearing masks and I don't feel comfortable leaving my room. I'm fucking starving and can't go to the kitchen to get food. The idiot is a fucking nursing major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 445

Simple Pleasures

By boredwithnothingtodo - 29/10/2019 06:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got a new washer and dryer set. It's sad when all you have to do at night is make popcorn and watch the clothes washing. I even invited friends over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 321

Make it yourself, champ

By Cookyourowndamnfoodasshole! - 27/01/2021 18:30 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend complaining that I’m lazy since I never cook for him. I stopped cooking for him because he constantly complained that the food was never as good as what his ex-wife made, or like his mom made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 08/07/2019 18:01 - United States

Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 436

I just work here, lady

By WhoAreThesePeople - 05/04/2022 22:00

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 84

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 278