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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 760

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 453

Falling

By Kassy - 16/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 340

Fear factor

By James - 07/01/2026 22:00

Today, I put my son on a ladder and told him to help me get down the Christmas lights to force him to face his terrible fear of heights. He cried for a good ten minutes, then started to calm himself down, just in time for my wife to run out screaming, "GET HIM OFF THAT LADDER!" Now he's even more scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 578

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 763

Like a dog

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I started a new workout routine to get fit. After watching a bunch of online videos, I thought I could jump right in. I overdid it on squats and now can’t sit down without grunting like a wounded animal. I’m now having to climb stairs on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 492

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I prepared a detailed plan to organise my life, colour-coded and beautifully illustrated. I was so engrossed in designing the perfect plan that I forgot to actually do any of it and ended up with a highly organised non-starter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 447

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 15:00 - United States - Normal

Today, I overslept and missed both of my morning classes. I was supposed to lead an instructional discussion in my communications class that was worth a lot of points. Now my grade has dropped from an A to an F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 579

I got heels, they’re made of plywood

By Morrissey - 06/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 403

Caveman behaviour

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 04:00

Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 2 482

Parkour!

By FML Videos - 19/11/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Michael Scott would be impressed.

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 247

PUA in training

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 435

Cut them off

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 792

Introverts! Hide!

By ??? - 17/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 486

Well hung

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to hang a new shelf in my apartment. I measured, drilled, and installed it perfectly level, only to realize a few minutes later I'd drilled into the side of a pipe. Water started shooting out like a geyser and almost flooded my bathroom. My shelf looks great, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 503

It's never a mannequin

By I heart Kevin from JTL - 20/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, I was watching a crime drama with my parents. During a tense moment, I casually said, "Oh, I know how to hide a body." They both stared at me in horror, and I had to explain that I meant from watching too many true crime videos on YouTube, not from actual experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 380

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 12:00

Today, I mistakenly texted my father in-law a photo of all my weed and all the joints I'd rolled. He’s also my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 1 564

The truth will out

By ASad17Yearold - 07/05/2021 03:59

Today, I've lied about my grades for three years of high school already and my mom thinks I'm a straight A student. I'm supposed to be going to college in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 1 688

Yummy

By Tuna ice cream - 09/09/2025 03:00

Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 375

It's a doggy dog world

By Tom - 02/10/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Zoetermeer

Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 551

The pros and cons

By Anonymous - 05/01/2024 16:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I realized I'm trapped. I might be heading into an abusive relationship that I won't be able to escape, but I can't leave because then I'd break his heart and I love him too much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 1 102

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 591

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 355

Damien

By Janey - 02/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, it's been thirteen years since I divorced my husband for being too hard on our son. Since then, he's remarried and had two beautiful, well-behaved kids. My son, meanwhile, is a thieving hellion who doesn't care about anything but himself, and my ex wants nothing to do with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 1 251

Slush

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 16:00 - Germany

Today, I’m a big fan of healthy supplements, but those algae pills I bought were a definite waste of money. Why? Because they came out of me looking the exact same way they went in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 437

I hate dancing

By Anonymous - 02/03/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 408

Giving up

By ForeverLonely - 31/10/2025 22:00

Today, I’m getting my fallopian tubes removed because I've lost all hope of finding a man. I’m 36 and I've kissed frog after frog and no Prince Charming on the horizon. I can’t get a man to stay/commit to save my life, so I’m throwing away the dream of having a white picket fence family to be confined into celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 538

Business on top

By Paulie - 25/11/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I attended a virtual meeting on Zoom. In an effort to appear professional, I wore a business shirt and tie… with my pajama bottoms out of shot under the table. My camera slipped, revealing my mismatched clothes and also my footwear – one sock and one fuzzy slipper. I only noticed after my boss pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 591

The more you know

By My mouth tastes like blood - 14/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 391

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 3 485

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 830

You deserved it 438

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 371

You deserved it 13 703

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 016

You deserved it 2 657

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 470

You deserved it 7 787

Today, I broke my glasses, so I scheduled an appointment to get a new pair. The soonest available appointment? November 21st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 120

Today, on the first occasion I've seen my boss since her brief leave, I brought up how I got to hear all our customers' heartwarming plans for their moms on Mother's Day. Her mother just died. That's why she was on leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 285