Chores? Run! By FML Videos - 08/11/2018 18:30 You can run, but you can't hide... I agree, your life sucks 263 You deserved it 71 Share Tweet Share
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 624 You deserved it 97 524
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML I agree, your life sucks 606 You deserved it 89
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 138 You deserved it 2 199
Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 762 You deserved it 13 726
Today, I learned that I can't share my things with other people. This includes my girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 273 You deserved it 366
Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 411 You deserved it 214
Today, on my second day at work. A fellow trainee broke a cardinal rule: no phones in class. When it went off after receiving a text message, our trainer snatched it, handed it to me, and ordered me to read it aloud in front of everyone, "OR ELSE!" Despite my protests, I had to. It read: "Call home ASAP, mom is dead." FML I agree, your life sucks 799 You deserved it 101
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 884 You deserved it 174