By justkillm3 - United States Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML I agree, your life sucks 45023 You deserved it 9115 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cogibbt - Canada Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML I agree, your life sucks 1446 You deserved it 114 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/3/2020 17:00 Run for the hills! Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML I agree, your life sucks 2026 You deserved it 213 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GnarCarBar - United States Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 28695 You deserved it 4640 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML I agree, your life sucks 15875 You deserved it 13560 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By newlydumped - United States Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 9621 You deserved it 64273 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catlady - United States - Clifton Park Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML I agree, your life sucks 23633 You deserved it 2419 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Baustigt - Australia Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML I agree, your life sucks 40898 You deserved it 4562 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML I agree, your life sucks 41426 You deserved it 5671 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By horny and alone Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place and sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 2608 You deserved it 370 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By botharebad - Canada Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML I agree, your life sucks 31324 You deserved it 3231 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kelly - United States - Roseville Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 27781 You deserved it 3311 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 49441 You deserved it 4977 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bbcgj - Sweden - Uppsala Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML I agree, your life sucks 27601 You deserved it 2835 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Encinitas Today, my butt decided to delete the 650 photos I had on my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 40172 You deserved it 8103 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Philadelphia Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML I agree, your life sucks 14678 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1808 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadinthesack - United States Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 25760 You deserved it 10835 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rejected - Australia Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 45148 You deserved it 4744 326 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML I agree, your life sucks 14608 You deserved it 53796 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sofakingweetodit - United States Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML I agree, your life sucks 10751 You deserved it 35188 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Leah Truncale - 24/11/2020 13:58 - United States - Petaluma But was he cute though? Today, I met a boy on Snapchat. I sent him my picture and he said I was cute. We talked for a bit, and I said, "Okay" to something. Then he sent his picture, but my slow Wi-Fi made it look like I said okay to his picture, right after he'd called me cute. I tried to explain, but he said I was just trying to be nice. FML I agree, your life sucks 734 You deserved it 109 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous A rock and a hard place Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML I agree, your life sucks 1378 You deserved it 224 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frustrated - Hong Kong Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML I agree, your life sucks 55923 You deserved it 5900 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Beaky - Canada Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML I agree, your life sucks 7088 You deserved it 49819 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hhaghigh - 14/3/2020 00:08 - United States Blending Nemo Today, I was draining the water from my fishbowl out into the kitchen sink. The fish was still in it and decided to go with the flow, literally, right into the garburator. I was too scared to stick my hand down there to save it; instead I panicked and turned the garburator on. FML I agree, your life sucks 370 You deserved it 2358 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML I agree, your life sucks 32724 You deserved it 91653 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aaannnddd there goes my boner - United Kingdom Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML I agree, your life sucks 46107 You deserved it 8384 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotThatButton - United States - Missoula Today, I accidentally deleted my landlord's pictures of his child's graduation, girlfriend, daughter and vacation when he asked me to delete a video off his phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 13388 You deserved it 21428 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Spring Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML I agree, your life sucks 23605 You deserved it 2290 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cynical - 5/10/2020 05:01 - Canada - Toronto Alexa, play "I'm a Realist" by The Cribs Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML I agree, your life sucks 753 You deserved it 389 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Woops - United States - Secaucus Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML I agree, your life sucks 22777 You deserved it 47128 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 24085 You deserved it 1280 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By howniceofyou - Canada Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 34425 You deserved it 13088 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my dog was diagnosed with a torn ACL. This costs $1500-$2500 to treat. Three months ago, he had heart worms. That cost $1400 to treat. I adopted this dog from a shelter four months ago to help relieve some of my stress and anxiety. I don't feel any less stressed or anxious. FML I agree, your life sucks 4616 You deserved it 498 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GlennGuagmire - Saudi Arabia - Ras Tanura Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML I agree, your life sucks 12896 You deserved it 1597 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nevergoingtopeeagain - United States - Richmond Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML I agree, your life sucks 27597 You deserved it 35931 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Cork Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML I agree, your life sucks 20782 You deserved it 5041 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By socks - United States Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML I agree, your life sucks 48715 You deserved it 3330 240 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ajwwfc - 19/10/2020 23:03 - United Kingdom - Wolverhampton Bored of you Today, I realised that whenever I make eye contact with a stranger, I yawn. I work at a McDonald's FML I agree, your life sucks 787 You deserved it 122 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML I agree, your life sucks 25788 You deserved it 2004 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie Given | 23 #7728093 - Sunday 25 November 2018 3:32 O look a penny 🤣 Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7728093 - Sunday 25 November 2018 3:32 O look a penny 🤣 Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 514 You deserved it 118 7 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 990 You deserved it 51 6 Comments