My friends' reaction when I see my ex By Lewis - 13/12/2018 17:58 - France - Paris Let it go! I agree, your life sucks 261 You deserved it 66 Share Tweet Share
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 158
Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 246 You deserved it 731
Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 889 You deserved it 200
Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 902 You deserved it 140
Today, the Australian police woke me up by knocking on my door and yelling my name. I start to panic, imagining the worst: burglars, murder, even drug trafficking. Apparently, I didn’t hear my alarm, so my boss called the cops to come and get me. FML I agree, your life sucks 817 You deserved it 87
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML I agree, your life sucks 53 738 You deserved it 10 292
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 725 You deserved it 5 955
Today, I was in a car crash. While I was being immobilised by the paramedics to be taken to the nearest hospital, the passenger of the other car, who didn't have a single scratch, touched my shoulder and said, "It doesn't matter, nobody got hurt." FML I agree, your life sucks 3 258 You deserved it 183