By Lewis When I ask a coworker for help I must admit, sometimes I am the coworker... 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guest - United States Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 51975 You deserved it 6652 323 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lunarclips - Canada - Brandon Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 12003 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1219 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Too Many Credits Today, after having too many projects for end of term, I asked to borrow my sister's paper that she used for the same class last year. After submitting it online, I found the example paper that the teacher handed out. My teacher used my sister's paper from last year as an example for us. FML I agree, your life sucks 2882 You deserved it 13353 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheBRADLeyB - United States Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML I agree, your life sucks 12533 You deserved it 96543 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Florida - United States Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML I agree, your life sucks 27035 You deserved it 2927 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By purpleskylight - United States - Lexington Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML I agree, your life sucks 17037 You deserved it 22559 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mynameisnotdrew - United States Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML I agree, your life sucks 71816 You deserved it 4082 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Annandale Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 43275 You deserved it 17788 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Son of a Bitch - United States Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML I agree, your life sucks 30728 You deserved it 2064 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML I agree, your life sucks 28253 You deserved it 3097 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jordansquared Today, I received a Christmas card from my husband’s parents and found for the 7th straight year I wasn’t included on the card. Instead they included a picture of my husband’s ex-girlfriend holding my baby. I’ve already received messages asking if he’s back together with her. No. No he’s not. FML I agree, your life sucks 2996 You deserved it 175 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml9124 Hidden Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML I agree, your life sucks 1257 You deserved it 145 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monkeylover996 - United States Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML I agree, your life sucks 24551 You deserved it 3922 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unreciprocated - Canada - Hamilton Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML I agree, your life sucks 25205 You deserved it 2452 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouchhhh Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. 5 seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 4345 You deserved it 577 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bobby M - Ireland Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML I agree, your life sucks 68399 You deserved it 10654 403 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By faulty number - United States - Port Saint Lucie Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 9719 You deserved it 38751 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML I agree, your life sucks 3618 You deserved it 12656 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charles Pennington - United States Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML I agree, your life sucks 31762 You deserved it 3337 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarrassed Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML I agree, your life sucks 42218 You deserved it 6684 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By a - United States Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML I agree, your life sucks 24658 You deserved it 2129 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Malaysia Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML I agree, your life sucks 38972 You deserved it 4222 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah - United States - Minneapolis Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML I agree, your life sucks 31913 You deserved it 5434 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Port Saint Lucie Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 26425 You deserved it 2882 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smiler - United Kingdom Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML I agree, your life sucks 28471 You deserved it 5641 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnonymousOne Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML I agree, your life sucks 10943 You deserved it 619 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whymanwhy - Czech Republic Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML I agree, your life sucks 38062 You deserved it 3325 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LoveStinks Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML I agree, your life sucks 16120 You deserved it 2521 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsohappy - United States Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML I agree, your life sucks 118601 You deserved it 11042 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36975 You deserved it 4238 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sacked - United States Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML I agree, your life sucks 15297 You deserved it 23894 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossedout - United States - Newport News Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 35169 You deserved it 2735 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Keyser Soze Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 6558 You deserved it 997 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Richland Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25004 You deserved it 2208 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML I agree, your life sucks 25848 You deserved it 7565 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Drewbie - United States - Park City Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML I agree, your life sucks 52653 You deserved it 8767 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML I agree, your life sucks 11691 You deserved it 117273 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blah Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 3430 You deserved it 244 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML I agree, your life sucks 25131 You deserved it 1509 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iailwkrb - United States Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML I agree, your life sucks 46722 You deserved it 27886 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EarthsMightiestHeroes | 20 #7732850 - Tuesday 4 December 2018 20:29 I love how "oh fuck" is a universal thing Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By Garry MacIver | 3 #7733466 - Wednesday 5 December 2018 22:34 Only fools and horses...only 25 years behind Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By EarthsMightiestHeroes | 20 #7732850 - Tuesday 4 December 2018 20:29 I love how "oh fuck" is a universal thing Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By Garry MacIver | 3 #7733466 - Wednesday 5 December 2018 22:34 Only fools and horses...only 25 years behind Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By yeongji | 31 #7733567 - Thursday 6 December 2018 4:16 I can relate to this video all too well! But the only difference is that I don't even bother with certain coworkers now. I shoo them away when they come over and ask if I need help, which happens once every blue moon. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how... I agree, your life sucks 26 You deserved it 24 0 Comments
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly... I agree, your life sucks 619 You deserved it 44 9 Comments