By mortifying - United Kingdom - Harlow

Skinny girl

Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

558

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1772

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Understandable

Caught red-handed

Emergency haircut

By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Square

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23843

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1479

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51977

You deserved it

9757

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By Anonymous - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28803

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5481

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By Claire - United States - Parkville

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34121

You deserved it

7231

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32812

You deserved it

4571

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By Mark - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36731

You deserved it

2683

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By karlajjjjj - United Kingdom - Cold Ashby

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40263

You deserved it

11661

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By rebekah - United States

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

461454

You deserved it

76797

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By please don't get the succ - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9540

You deserved it

637

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By Anonymous

Today, I finally had the courage to break up with the father of my child. When I got to my parents' house, they were happy, but after explaining that I was going to spend more time with them, they called and told him that they don’t accept devolutions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1999

You deserved it

230

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2020 23:02 - United States - Santa Ana

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, I woke up to the inside of my house covered in bees. Hundreds of them. I have been complaining about a bee problem to the HOA for two weeks, and their response has been, “The hive was taken care of." Well, a few hundred bees inside and a few thousand on my outside wall beg to disagree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1445

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By pranksonpranks - 14/9/2020 17:02 - United States

Dicks aplenty!

Today, my sister and I have been in a prank war. She spammed my phone with dozens of random dick pics from the internet. My boyfriend saw and accused me of cheating. Now he won’t talk to me, and my sister won’t help me explain things. Guess she won. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1410

You deserved it

232

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By princess - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48405

You deserved it

7128

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By bleh - United States

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39073

You deserved it

3124

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By j - Canada

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18362

You deserved it

30109

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By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31253

You deserved it

3085

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By Popscene - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24266

You deserved it

2909

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By Jason McGinnis - 22/9/2020 16:51 - Canada - Brampton

That'll be Kevin in accounting

Today, just like every other day, my company is so dysfunctional that local food chains require us to pay cash up front for our catering, because we routinely take 6 months or more to pay for a chicken sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1029

You deserved it

165

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By Binks - United States - Bonneau

Today, my dad took away my Xbox because "You never do anything active." I had just run a 5K. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2825

You deserved it

224

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By grossfoot - United States

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26851

You deserved it

9397

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By anonymous - 14/11/2020 06:57 - United States - Irving

Entitled

Today, where I work at a pharmacy, we were short staffed and running 4 hours behind. A lady came to drop off a new prescription. When I explained to her the wait time, she called the patient. I heard ,"No, they don't look busy." Like, really? FML

I agree, your life sucks

729

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By shay786 - 5/5/2020 17:00

My eyes!

Today, I heard grunting and then realized it was my tenant with his boyfriend. When I went down to do my laundry, I caught them in the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1575

You deserved it

277

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By Anonymous - United States - Fairfield

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57018

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3759

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By danman - United States

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46558

You deserved it

4226

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By boobswerehere - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five-year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12527

You deserved it

1440

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By mandie - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28349

You deserved it

2526

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40105

You deserved it

5406

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89153

You deserved it

4359

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By loserman67

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20638

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2908

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By WTF - United States

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

56473

You deserved it

19366

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By crankg - United States

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8537

You deserved it

55192

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By Anonymous - United States - Norwalk

Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21332

You deserved it

3291

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By KCHS - United States

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29957

You deserved it

3550

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43407

You deserved it

5389

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32248

You deserved it

3309

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By Anonymous

Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25379

You deserved it

1532

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42014

You deserved it

5308

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By ugly - Australia

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42902

You deserved it

3352

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By David - United States - Seattle

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25653

You deserved it

2109

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By FUCK A FUCKING DUCK - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28944

You deserved it

2825

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7854780 - Monday 28 October 2019 23:42

Hopefully, you'll learn enough biology to know that girls' legs don't feel like wood.

By Mathalamus | 24

#7854755 - Monday 28 October 2019 21:20

You shouldn't be doing that anyway.

COMMENTS

By Mathalamus | 24

#7854755 - Monday 28 October 2019 21:20

You shouldn't be doing that anyway.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7854780 - Monday 28 October 2019 23:42

Hopefully, you'll learn enough biology to know that girls' legs don't feel like wood.

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7854785 - Tuesday 29 October 2019 0:19

Sounds like your having nice relationship with your table leg. Be careful playing footsie you don’t want to break a leg

By weeping_willow | 25

#7854819 - Tuesday 29 October 2019 4:37

That’s mortifying to you? Oh boy, wait till you have sex for the first time.

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7854854 - Tuesday 29 October 2019 8:42

You just like her but are not dating? Why are you trying to play footsie?

By Meghan Mayhugh | 5

#7854946 - Tuesday 29 October 2019 14:04

We’ve all been there.