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Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (9399)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (1561)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (6016)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (2677)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (6806)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (2917)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (5665)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (4874)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (3998)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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