Today, it's been a few weeks since I had my first sexual experience in 6 years following my divorce. It was with a woman I’ve known for years. We get on amazingly, more than me and my ex ever did. She’s sweet, sexy, funny, amazing in bed, and even likes Xbox. Unfortunately she also gave me Scabies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML
Today, I’d been bi-curious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch-searing yeast infection from hell. FML
Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML
Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML
Today, I’m confused as hell. Since we got divorced, my ex-wife and I have had more sex in the last 6 months than our entire 5 year marriage. Since our split, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m in a state of permanent confusion about our future relationship. FML
Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked up with a male friend. I'm so out of practice, I honestly believe round-two the next morning was out of pity more than actual interest. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Today, I realised I had a bad month. Last week, I threw out my back; the week before, my girlfriend got a cold sore; this week, I got chickenpox at the ripe age of 31 years. When I went to bed last night, I found my girlfriend sound asleep with her vibrator in one hand. We haven't had sex for so long, I can't even blame her. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Well considering how easily transmitted scabies is and that it's highly infectious ,she could have easily caught in that the same day or you both could have caught it while out on your date ,wasn't necessarily her fault don't let it ruin a great experience🙂
Sloppy_Sunshine 6
Yeah, you’ll be laughing for years chill the **** out get the ointment and go have a good time. FaF thx for posting 😅
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Comments (2)
Charlie Given 28
Well considering how easily transmitted scabies is and that it's highly infectious ,she could have easily caught in that the same day or you both could have caught it while out on your date ,wasn't necessarily her fault don't let it ruin a great experience🙂
Sloppy_Sunshine 6
Yeah, you’ll be laughing for years chill the **** out get the ointment and go have a good time. FaF thx for posting 😅