Bad hair day - FML

Bad hair day

By Hairdresser On Fire - 01/10/2019 18:05 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I mistook a little girl for a boy. Unfortunately, I only realised my mistake until after I'd cut her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 1 773

Triage

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Simps gonna simp

By everyonehatesme - 02/05/2010 08:37 - Malaysia

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 026

You deserved it 9 325

By computergeek - 26/01/2010 21:25 - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 284

You deserved it 2 426

By Anonymous - 07/11/2013 15:23 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 103

You deserved it 4 355

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 230

You deserved it 35 005

Urine trouble

By boopingsnoot - 07/07/2017 02:04

Today, while working at the vet, we had a familiar little dog show up for a minor procedure. The dog always sits on its owner's lap on the drive over, and always gets peed on. Not talking about dog pee. And we're not allowed to bathe it because that service costs extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 752

You deserved it 336

By anon - 28/07/2015 05:02 - United States - Northbrook

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 4 690

Inebriated utterances

By Brenden Alistair Maye - 30/07/2021 01:59

Today, after the girl I fell head over heels for asked me out last night, it turns out she was so drunk at the time, she doesn't remember and doesn't want to date me at all. I'm beginning to feel like my life is some shitty movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 87

By anonymous - 06/11/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 635

You deserved it 45 559

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, I'm over COVID but have apparently lost my sense of smell and taste. My boyfriend, who thinks he’s a comedian, said at least I can’t complain his farts stink and should have no problem swallowing instead of spitting during blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 269

By Already Broke Asf - 18/11/2015 01:51 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 909

You deserved it 2 309

By Loser - 04/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 73 971

By nixwolfwood - 19/12/2016 21:14

Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 512

By chi_chia - 24/03/2011 15:03 - United States

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 805

You deserved it 4 922

By something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 2 465

By Uriah - 03/07/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 159

You deserved it 109 470

By Tee - 10/11/2009 02:20 - Australia

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 5 405

Kick the tragedy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 18:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 124

By iwantmoney - 22/07/2011 00:20 - United States

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 187

You deserved it 5 108

By mandapanda - 02/02/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a post-it note on my locker that said "consider yourself dumped". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 746

You deserved it 4 661

By thatshelpful - 02/07/2015 04:16 - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 703

You deserved it 1 767

May to December

By why ma? - 25/03/2020 08:02

Today, I invited my elderly mother to come stay with my husband and I during this outbreak, just until everything calms down. She declined because we said she couldn’t bring her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is a 34 year-old leech who's been living off her for over a year. She refuses to change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 189

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 878

You deserved it 28 278

By Former Drummer - 03/06/2012 21:23 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 4 641

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 16:30 - Saudi Arabia - Jiddah

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 321

You deserved it 10 079

By Anonymous - 05/06/2018 01:30

Today, I decided to not hang in the library after school like I usually do. When I got home, I found my father cheating on my mother with my girlfriend, who said she was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 033

You deserved it 340

By Noname - 22/01/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 273

You deserved it 28 042

Weddings from hell

By happybride - 13/04/2018 01:30

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 360

Missing out

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 00:02

Today, after I gave notice to quit my job 3 weeks ago, and my last day is tomorrow, I found out that all overtime is now $40 an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 203

Priorities

By Forever sad - 06/10/2011 00:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 658

You deserved it 4 621

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 49 662

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 16:45 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 302

You deserved it 6 218

By kelizabeth - 05/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 030

You deserved it 3 189

By jackelking - 25/05/2009 08:33 - United States

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 950

You deserved it 6 902

By hatemydentist - 18/11/2014 17:45 - Canada - Toronto

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 557

You deserved it 3 301

By NoRespect - 22/05/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 576

You deserved it 3 244

By UghNo - 14/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 372

You deserved it 574

By Fenny - 27/02/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 74 446

By mainlineloser - 28/11/2014 05:25 - United States - Narberth

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 381

You deserved it 3 325

By Shane - 08/02/2011 07:58

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 107

You deserved it 32 104

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 18:26

Did her mother specify how she wanted her hair cut or did she just say go wild and do whatever you think is best? Usually parents say something that will give some type of hint as to what their child's gender is...

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 20:30

Now everyone will mistake her for a little boy for the next few months. You were just ahead of the curve!

Comments

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 18:26

Did her mother specify how she wanted her hair cut or did she just say go wild and do whatever you think is best? Usually parents say something that will give some type of hint as to what their child's gender is...

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 18:41

did the child have no parents? didn't someone tell you what cut they wanted for their child?

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 20:30

Now everyone will mistake her for a little boy for the next few months. You were just ahead of the curve!

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 20:32

Parents didn't say anything? Shave the head clean and say that's a big trend right now. Really can't complain if they didn't give any instructions on what they wanted :p

Felice Godin 19

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 21:32

bet her parents wasnt very happy. with you

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 21:37

Why wouldn't you ask the parents what haircut they want, before you start?

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Wednesday 2 October 2019 1:31

Did you and the parent or even the child not discuss the cut and style before you cut her hair? I find this one very hard to believe.

TheCrazedHare 7

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Wednesday 2 October 2019 8:12

Did the parent's not tell you how they wanted it cut?

Yudith 20

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Wednesday 2 October 2019 13:12

Most importantly, does the child look good with this short haircut?

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Wednesday 2 October 2019 14:55

Some girls look cute with a pixie cut. Not all girls, mind you. Kris Jenner looks like she knew about Caitlyn all along.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 22

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 71