The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 273

Haggling wars

By Jules - 05/09/2023 04:00 - Germany

Today, at the grocery store, the scanner at the register gave a higher price for a product than the price tag on the shelf. Apparently I was the one being unreasonable for insisting to pay the price advertised on the shelf, and not some secret price they never told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 121

Alexa, play "Jobseeker" by Sleaford Mods

By Probably Not - 09/12/2023 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 141

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 384

Stop using this as an excuse

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 22:00

Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 1 676

Cats 4 life

By Doggone it - 12/11/2022 12:00

Today, I've been living with my new roommate's dogs for three days now. In an ironic twist, the small one is very well-behaved, while the two big ones are disobedient little shits. Every day, I get a thousand more reminders as to why I'm a cat person. I can't do this anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 175

Night terror

By Help - 25/02/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially at the point where I would do literally anything to have a pleasant dream, or at least one that's not absolutely fucking terrifying. I now know where the irrational fear of sleeping comes from. Anxiety can go fuck a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 127

By Mavyblondie - 07/12/2012 03:39 - Australia

Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 133

Gamba

By F your brackets - 26/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend is 34 years-old. We’ve been together for 5 years. He refuses to propose to me because “marriage is expensive” and “kids drain your wallet.” That would be understandable if he hasn’t spent the majority of his paychecks on March Madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 376

A new enemy

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 08:01 - United States - Great Mills

Today, my cat jumped into my lap and sat on my headphone cord. I tried to get it out from under her by pulling on it. Big mistake. My cat is now eyeing the cord and will attack it if I move it again. I have expensive headphones and the cord is not interchangeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 449

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 17:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 156

Sharing is caring

By josie - 05/05/2022 10:00

Today, my husband of twenty years thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t fart in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 276

WTF Grandma?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 10:00

Today, I spoke to my grandma on the phone. Two hours later, my cousin sends me a screenshot of my grandma inviting her and my sister out to lunch tomorrow. This is the fourth lunch in a row I have NOT been invited too. I don't know why she keeps doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 135

He works hard for the money

By BlownOff - 29/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Beverly

Today, my friend canceled plans the day before the event, after planning to go together for over a month. He said he needed to work, which would be understandable, if his only job wasn’t for Uber where he literally sets his own hours. It’s too late to find another friend to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 118

Gassed

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 509

TMI

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 14:00 - United Kingdom - Godalming

Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included in the photo of the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 2 613

Up and down

By Thanks, but... - 09/09/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was sobbing hysterically as she told me that I was getting a pay raise was because I was going to the vet to have my sick and dying cat put down. Good news at a bad time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 109

Losing it

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just like my mother, except she got hers in her 70’s after she lived a life. Mine is early onset so I’m losing my mind in my 30’s and I’ve done nothing with my life except work to afford rent and my next meal. I don’t even have a wife or kids damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 90

I KNOW!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend mansplained to me that because Loki likes both boys and girls, he’s bi, not gay. I’m bi, and my boyfriend knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 268

Delete pls

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband sent me a dick pic, then sent a follow up text saying, “Sorry, not meant for you, delete pls”, followed by, “Ignore that, obviously it was meant for you. Love you.” If he’s sending pics to other women, I’m gonna spread his cheeks and jam every golf ball he owns up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 158

The line must go up

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 12:00

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 82

PTSD Andy

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 05:00

Today, poorly applied makeup made it look like I have a black eye in most of my wedding photos. I would have laughed it off, but I was showing them to my brother who was deployed during the actual wedding. He saw the black eye, assumed it was domestic abuse, and attacked my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 172

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 161

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 167

First impressions

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 23:01

Today, while on a date, I accidentally ordered "diet water" instead of saying "diet coke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 307

The voice

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 10:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to listen to some old phone call recordings at work, in which a certain worker had the most annoying high-pitched voice. To my horror, I discovered that they were my call recordings, so the annoying voice was my own. My colleagues all concurred they cannot stand the sound of me talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 177

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 10:00

Today, my polyamorous friend has 3 boyfriends. My other polyamorous friend has 2 boyfriends and my other other polyamorous friend has a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 204

Entitled much?

By r/entitledparents material right here - 06/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 177

The X factor

By May need earplugs - 05/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sings in his room a lot. He has a horrible singing voice, but his dog trying to harmonize with him by howling at the top of its lungs makes it even more unbearable. Worst duet performance ever. And he does it every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 133

It's alive!

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 00:00 - Germany

Today, I guess my mom didn't clean her toilet before going on vacation. That’s probably why it’s not only dirty, but the dirt has started to grow mould. Spoiler: She's been back from her trip for a while now, the toilet still looks that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 107

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Family Love Poopoo peepee Awkward Money Annoying Raining Work Health Painful Medication Miscellaneous Relationship advice Relatable AITA Mental health Psychology Animals Cats Allergies Cheating Kids Weddings Drunk Embarrassing Singing Sports Furniture Transportation Airplanes

The Top

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 092

You deserved it 3 474

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 849

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166 838

You deserved it 13 722

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 2 712

Today, my horse discovered that if he pushed the bottom of his water bucket up, it would empty itself outside the stall, right on top of me. I had just bent down to put the grooming supplies back in my bag on the ground just outside the stall. I have a lesson in 5 minutes and my white shirt is now see-through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 068

You deserved it 674

Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 138