Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML
Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML
Today, I keep hearing a tapping noise in my bedroom every few seconds. I don't know where it's coming from, but I do know it's driving me crazy, and it's impossible for me to ignore. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML
Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Empty your trash cans, clean the gunk inside, wash your two dozen semi-empty glasses and crusty plates, throw away the moldy apple cores under your bed, sanitize your room, wash your linen, wash your curtains while you're at it, make sure nobody is storing trash or rotting carcasses under your windows, and clean under your heaters with a vacuum cleaner and a toothbrush. You should have way less flies after that.
RichardPencil 32
Basically, every day is Flyday.
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Comments (4)
maskedangel 11
Use fly strips. Best thing ever
Yudith 28
Empty your trash cans, clean the gunk inside, wash your two dozen semi-empty glasses and crusty plates, throw away the moldy apple cores under your bed, sanitize your room, wash your linen, wash your curtains while you're at it, make sure nobody is storing trash or rotting carcasses under your windows, and clean under your heaters with a vacuum cleaner and a toothbrush. You should have way less flies after that.
Niniva 8
Unless you live near livestock. Or have a cesspool. Or don't have window screens. Or a million other reasons flies exist that doesn't involve humans creating a prime habitat for them.
RichardPencil 32
Basically, every day is Flyday.
Niniva 8
Maybe a mosquito net?