Miscellaneous: Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my...

By weeble_wobbles09 - 26/12/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 375

You deserved it 2 807

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

Best teeth in the game

Broken heart

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 635

You deserved it 8 964

The Shining

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 241

By bear92 - 19/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 5 891

By OhDearGodGrandad - 07/02/2016 17:59 - United Kingdom - Ilford

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 2 118

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 919

You deserved it 307

By ashamed - 22/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 140

You deserved it 4 279

The Passion of the Christ

By Canada20 - 29/09/2017 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, while helping at my grandma's church, the new Orthodox Priest encouraged me to come to confession because he was sure I would have "a lot of stories to tell" and finished by seductively winking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 560

You deserved it 317

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 910

You deserved it 9 506

By Anonymous - 15/05/2016 22:25 - United States - Phoenixville

Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 536

You deserved it 1 332

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 111

You deserved it 14 938

Fashionista

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 00:25 - United States - Newark

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 438

You deserved it 5 681

By zaktor - 08/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I got: an angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get: a donation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 3 541

By grantsidiots - 27/11/2013 05:51 - Australia

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 732

You deserved it 3 131

By lalalee - 18/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 047

You deserved it 3 324

By me - 11/11/2010 18:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 218

You deserved it 4 876

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 21:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 3 842

Last dates

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 17:00

Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 208

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 677

By bonzo - 22/06/2015 14:41 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 787

You deserved it 2 674

By Tigerlily - 03/05/2017 22:00

Today, my cat thanked me for buying her a new litterbox by peeing in all of my plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 137

You deserved it 597

By musicman2005 - 30/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 896

You deserved it 64 371

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 434

By Failsafe - 09/05/2016 14:35 - United States - Newark

Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 570

You deserved it 1 425

By blovesg - 07/04/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 538 251

By walkingdead_1029 - 06/05/2013 06:49 - United States - Peoria

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 710

You deserved it 6 444

Oh, the irony

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 07:56

Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 72

Congratulations. Or not.

By Anonymous - 24/10/2019 14:03

Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 1 995

OCD FML

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 06:01 - Germany

Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 20:30 - United States - Randallstown

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 773

You deserved it 5 273

Cheap labor

By franzia - 25/09/2021 14:00

Today, I got broken up with, after renovating her family's apartment over the last 9 months. She even waited until I'd hung the last lights, whose shipment was delayed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 14:15

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 381

You deserved it 1 513

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:03 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 794

You deserved it 5 141

In your face

By ouchy - 30/01/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I gave one of them, a seven-year-old, a piggy-back ride, thinking I was strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before face planting on the wooden floor. She's fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 174

You deserved it 26 808

Hammocking yourself

By phlox_fml - 30/05/2020 08:00

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 253

By really? - 13/04/2013 09:21 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 449

You deserved it 24 098

By dudeyouarefired - 20/12/2012 08:16

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 648

You deserved it 4 748

By depressed - 03/09/2013 21:43 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 3 057

Hypocrisy

By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/07/2020 02:02

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 202

You deserved it 4 087

By Andy - 13/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 383

You deserved it 4 341

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:35

Put one up. Or give her a picture of you, and tell her she can put it up. If she takes it down, or doesn't put it up, take it personally. Maybe she has no idea.

JassyJas 2

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:19

Did you ask her why?

Tigg3r 3

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:11

That sucks...hope she forgives you.

GeorgeBoosh 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 19:01

How about giving her a few pictures? Even label them: "For the wall". Simple fix!

nam3 0

Send a private message

Monday 28 December 2009 4:05

egoistic bitch

zezjo 3

Send a private message

Monday 12 April 2010 5:49

#1 ? WTF?

JassyJas 2

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:19

Did you ask her why?

AmyLovesJoel 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:26

Why would she have to forgive him

Boy_Flow 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:34

LOL!!! x-D

fattypie101 0

Send a private message

Sunday 16 May 2010 16:35

umm #4 u r reallly ugly

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:35

Put one up. Or give her a picture of you, and tell her she can put it up. If she takes it down, or doesn't put it up, take it personally. Maybe she has no idea.

fattypie101 0

Send a private message

Friday 21 May 2010 17:07

u r not cool

Dashelle 25

Send a private message

Sunday 27 October 2013 5:49

Seconded

YayAmerica 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:41

The same happened to me with my dad's facebook album titled "Family". He didn't have a single picture of me. Instead of getting all hurt and pissy, I asked him why. Apparently, they have no pictures of me uploaded on their computer. Quit playing the victim and jumping to conclusions.

dudeitsdanny 9

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:56

But... Couldn't he have gotten them from YOUR facebook? =O Gasp. Kidding. Kind of.

Reality_bites 14

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 10:57

#6 beat me to it. And seriously OP, you think your life is fucked because no photo appears of you on her wall? Really? I mean come on. Its a photo. It can also be easily fixed. Do you need constant adoration by other people through them having photos of you on their wall to feel important to them? Really? Really?

YayAmerica 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 21:52

Lol #8. He actually didn't know how.

bunnygirl09 1

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:46

she just made a honest mistake. find a photo you like and give it to her. she probably hasn't realized.

GeorgeBoosh 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 22:01

An honest mistake that is the first sign of Al Zimers. Help her by taking down ALL the photos and then she can forget every one of her grandchildren. That'll teach her.

XxPLAYMAKERxX 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 10:18

not everyone can be a blessing....in your case your the black sheep....sorry to reveal the truth

tomisbetterthanu 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 10:58

YDI

tooclassy 0

Send a private message

Saturday 26 December 2009 11:12

@ #10 Do their lives HAVE to be fucked? This is just a site for people who post misfortunes for fun and laughter. People who's lives are that are actually fucked shouldn't even post on here.. those are called idiots. :/