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The all-time greatest FMLs

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 12:00 - Ireland

Today, after running a marathon, I was knackered but feeling great. I was walking to my car when I stepped on a shard of glass and had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. I ended up missing the marathon after-party and had to spend the rest of the day in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 141

Where were you?

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Stamford

Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 130

Can it

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 09:59 - United States - Verona

Today, I had to hear yet another round of complaints about relatives or things from decades past from my broken record of a mother, who doesn't respect my need to quietly work from home. I'm about ready to smash my own head against the wall to get some peace and quiet, but I have to get this report done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 136

Lonely, so lonely

By Sonja - 22/05/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I would’ve been allowed to return to work after recovering from an accident two months prior. Yesterday, I had to start self-isolating after having gotten infected with Covid at one of my mandatory store trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 102

He got game

By Anonymous - 10/04/2021 17:00

Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 289

I was bored before I even began

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 227

Uncanny valley

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 06:00

Today, I got a new, short haircut. Now I look like my little brother who died two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 139

Out of control

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 12:00

Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 132

Let em in

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 243

By lilycollins - 16/09/2013 04:28 - Morocco - Casablanca

Today, my boyfriend diagnosed me with scoliosis. During doggystyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 91

Body positivity week

By FattieFatFat - 05/09/2023 14:00

Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 292

Gas shortages

By Jay - 03/03/2022 06:00

Today, while leaving a job interview, I ran out of gas on the highway and had to literally shake my vehicle to get off to the side of the road. My car is still sitting in that same spot. I had to walk two hours home and I now have chafing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 384

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 342

Cabin fever

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 14:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the only thing more unbearable than lockdown is lockdown with sloppy roommates, who do nothing but complain about each other behind their backs to me, and also bring up past events like a broken record. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 88

PTSD FML

By Eddward - 15/06/2021 06:00

Today, I was working a phone call in a call center when I suddenly began to faint while at it. It turned out to be a bad dream I'd woken up from, because it's been three months since I've worked at that call center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 118

You sad man

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 19:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 7 111

I hear you telephone thing, listening in

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 22:00

Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 281

What a tit

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 352

Is it though?

By lindsey822 - 08/04/2021 10:59

Today, my brother and his wife have seriously decided to name their son “Bubba.” I don’t know how to politely explain to them that Bubba is a dog’s name, not a human’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 270

Cravings

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 268

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Sam - 25/04/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 483

Door dashed

By vibexeno - 31/01/2022 11:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, I opened my front door to see that someone else's McDonald's was delivered to me overnight, but the food was all moldy. The one time I get free food… FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 173

Thanks, guys

By Kayla - 18/04/2022 16:00

Today, I’ve been dying my hair an auburn color for years. It looks so natural and get complimented often. Before I can even say thank you, my daughter or partner blurts out, “It's not real” or “It’s fake”. Everyone laughs and it’s a little less awkward, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 238

Irony stress

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 06:00

Today, someone stole my Amazon delivery of stress balls from my apartment’s mail room. Now I’m more stressed than before about my stuff getting stolen, and have no stress ball to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 130

I didn't choose the thug life…

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00

Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 287

By numbat97 - 14/06/2019 02:00 - Australia - Burswood

Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 1 489

Childlike wonder

By Whatever - 17/02/2022 23:59 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, my male coworker, who is 15 years my senior, booped me on the nose. I'm 46 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 153

Ongoing crisis

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 06:00

Today, I found out my dad got Covid after spending the weekend at home. All my classes have me doing final projects, and my dorm's internet is a dumpster fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 138

RIP Buddy

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I held my 14 year-old dog as he passed away. He made me a better person and I spent more time with him and loved him more than 99% of the population. I don't know how I'm going to do tomorrow when I dig his grave, and know he's not with me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 89

Gratitude

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 02:02

Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 371

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The Top

Today, I did the math: if I wiped out my savings account, the joint account I have with my husband, as well as the savings accounts I started for nieces and nephews to pay for student loans, I would only owe $41,000 more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 318

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 3 020

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 1 975

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 227

Today, thanks to my estranged husband, I had three seizures at work. I came home yesterday to find that my seizure medications were completely gone. He'd flushed them down the toilet because he thinks I'm psychotic and "read on the internet" that it's because of the meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 142

You deserved it 280

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 811

You deserved it 986