Intimate moments: Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on...

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 1 282

Intimate moments

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Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 334

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 702

You deserved it 6 681

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 96

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 446

You deserved it 8 524

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 268

You deserved it 30 158

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 883

You deserved it 1 229

By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 935

You deserved it 8 866

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 929

You deserved it 3 240

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 030

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 746

weeping_willow 25

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:06

Don’t wipe so vigorously (or get better toilet paper)

manb91uk 22

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:10

In all fairness, there's only one place he could have gotten it... And it wasn't from HIS lips!

Comments

weeping_willow 25

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:06

Don’t wipe so vigorously (or get better toilet paper)

manb91uk 22

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:10

In all fairness, there's only one place he could have gotten it... And it wasn't from HIS lips!

Emma Marshall_738558922 12

Saturday 15 December 2018 9:38

No shit really

TxKitten79 10

Saturday 15 December 2018 13:30

Hopefully no shit.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:18

I was waiting for the fart. Where’s the fart?!?!?

sheltongrn 7

Saturday 15 December 2018 18:01

The benefits of keeping your eyes closed

404wan 19

Saturday 15 December 2018 22:38

girl you nasty, that's your tp

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 15 December 2018 23:01

Wiper no wiping!

cbchawks 14

Sunday 16 December 2018 3:12

the amount of times I've picked a piece off. it's no biggie, I just never say anything bc I'm not trying to embarrass anyone

mixedupminx 8

Monday 17 December 2018 1:41

Why don't people clean down below before engaging in such activities?! Hygiene, people!

zuckerburg 21

Tuesday 18 December 2018 9:33

he noticed. he's just a good guy and didn't say anything

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The Top

Today, my mom ambushed me with my cheating ex-fiancé, thinking being in the same room would miraculously change the past and we’d get back together. When I tried to walk out, my mom screamed like a banshee and latched onto my leg. After this I’m putting her in a retirement home and never visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 83

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 958

You deserved it 62 427

The Top

Today, my mom once again cried that I never come to visit her. I’ve tried, but her house is just unbearable. It’s always no less than 80°F inside, and she also refuses to clean up. She just burns multiple candles and air fresheners all day to mask the smell. She refuses any cleaning help I offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 144

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 4 807

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 2 571

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 880

You deserved it 20 122

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 764

You deserved it 1 608

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 524

You deserved it 7 642

Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

Mr Clean

Shock and awe

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