Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
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Top comments
weeping_willow 25
Don’t wipe so vigorously (or get better toilet paper)
manb91uk 22
In all fairness, there's only one place he could have gotten it... And it wasn't from HIS lips!
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Comments (13)
weeping_willow 25
Don’t wipe so vigorously (or get better toilet paper)
manb91uk 22
In all fairness, there's only one place he could have gotten it... And it wasn't from HIS lips!
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
No shit really
TxKitten79 10
Hopefully no shit.
RichardPencil 32
I was waiting for the fart. Where’s the fart?!?!?
sheltongrn 7
The benefits of keeping your eyes closed
404wan 19
girl you nasty, that's your tp
BurnInDemonFire 39
Wiper no wiping!
cbchawks 14
the amount of times I've picked a piece off. it's no biggie, I just never say anything bc I'm not trying to embarrass anyone
mixedupminx 8
Why don't people clean down below before engaging in such activities?! Hygiene, people!
zuckerburg 21
he noticed. he's just a good guy and didn't say anything