The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 00:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 159

Bad job

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 23:00

Today, I confirmed that my professor hates me. Weeks ago, I failed a paper for the first time, so I went to my professor, apologized profusely, and discussed my revision plan. I got his approval on my conclusions and added all the details he suggested. I then submitted my paper. I got my grade this morning: C-. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 315

Shame! Shame!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 643

Great night out

By Boyufd - 02/05/2022 04:00

Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 200

Overzealous milkers

By Anonymous - 09/12/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, most of my immediate family do nothing but criticise me for not breastfeeding. My mom even threatened to call CPS for child abuse, no matter how many times I explain I physically don’t produce milk, and formula feeding is literally my only option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 144

Heatwave

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 06:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it appears I’m allergic. My stomach inflates like a soccer ball and produces terrible gas, and I really don’t feel so good in general. What am I allergic to? Summertime. Every year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 93

Lord of the lost rings

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 18:00

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 138

The impending sense of doom

By Awake - 23/12/2022 21:00

Today, I've known for a long time that I generally only wake up at ungodly hours in the night when something is wrong with me. Since last week, I've been doing this pretty much every night. Only now, I can't figure out what's wrong. Consequently, my anxiety is now keeping me awake too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 184

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 3 789

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 91

Downhill from here

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 18:00

Today, I'm two months pregnant and can only seem to eat plain food consisting of mostly cheese. Now I’m constipated and haven’t pooped in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 220

I was bored before I even began

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 229

Giving and taking

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 10:00

Today, I’m so tired of being there for those who are not there for me. I have one car, you couldn’t pick me up from the mechanics so I wouldn’t need to sit there 6 hours? Yeah roomie, I’ll stop on way home to get your dog some chicken… FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 239

Concentrate

By why am I like this?! - 24/02/2023 04:00

Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 484

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 119

Better off

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 12:00

Today, it's been a whole year since I have made any social interaction with anyone, and I don’t miss it, like… at all. The only person I have talked to is a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with schizoid personality disorder. I always knew there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 137

Close quarters

By Frannny - 15/08/2023 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law pulled into our driveway like a bat out of hell, knocking down the mailbox, and nearly running over our dog who was outside. What was the rush? Hannity was gonna come on TV. My husband refuses to find this woman a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 117

Get help soon

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 06:01

Today, I realized I rarely go outside anymore due to hyperacusis, social anxiety, depression, and sensory issues. I'm also afraid to tell my family and friends about my problems, because they don't understand how bad it really is. Looks like I'm doomed to be depressed and alone my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 232

You sad man

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 18:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 7 138

Fear Factor

By Cowgirl1293 - 26/08/2021 00:01

Today, at 28 years-old, I broke the first ever bone in my body. I broke a metacarpal in my hand by going down an inflatable waterside at a children's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 169

Set them free

By Seriously?! - 31/08/2023 06:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 161

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:01

Today, my sons are such idiots that they had a blazing punch-up that put both of them in hospital, all because one of them stole the last cigarette from a packet. Never mind they both have their own cigarettes, but for some reason the theft of this one cigarette was the last straw that lead to a punch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 323

No respect

By That's capitalism, baby - 10/05/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to finally take a day off work and relax at home. However, as soon as I was on the couch to Netflix and chill with my cat, I got a call from my boss saying I was needed at the office to fix a major issue. I ended up spending the entire day at work and didn't get to enjoy my "day off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 186

Academia ain't for everyone

By Spoopy Flame III - 18/11/2020 17:02

Today, after dropping a class for the first time ever in college in order to focus on raising my grades, I failed the test that I dropped another course to study for. By not finishing on time. After 3 days of studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 357

Noise annoys

By James - 31/01/2021 20:00

Today, I was apparently too noisy when I left for work. My options are either try to be more quiet when I leave or set my alarm later and then have no time for breakfast. I share a room with my nephew and I walk to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 137

Need warmth

By LockedDown - 04/02/2021 08:03 - United States - Vancouver

Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 119

Crusin' for a brusin'

By The junkie - 23/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 242

Packed in

By BackHurts - 16/07/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I paid $140 extra to get more comfort during a flight. The man behind me was so tall that his legs didn't let me recline the seat, and complained every time I tried to during the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 246

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 17:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 730

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 186

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Family Love Poopoo peepee Awkward Money Annoying Raining Work Health Painful Medication Miscellaneous Relationship advice Relatable AITA Mental health Psychology Animals Cats Allergies Cheating Kids Weddings Drunk Embarrassing Singing Sports Furniture Transportation Airplanes

The Top

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 574

You deserved it 4 370

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 6 477

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 536

You deserved it 7 499

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. Being dumped wasn't the reaction I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 204

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 448

You deserved it 158

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 89