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The all-time greatest FMLs

Make up your mind

By WhatKindOfZoneIsThis - 06/02/2022 04:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my crush told me that she has zero desire to pursue a romantic relationship with me, and has only ever seen me as a friend. That would've been fine if we hadn't been seeing each other for almost a year, and passionately made out a couple of nights ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 223

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 130

Father figure

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 22:00

Today, my dad has indoctrinated my boyfriend into anime. He'd never heard of anime before but now, as soon as he gets home from work, he and dad sit to watch episodes together while ignoring me. It’s gotten so bad I haven’t had sex in two weeks because my boyfriend comes to bed too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 323

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Shingle Springs

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 150

Growing

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 06:00

Today, I told my parents that I was planning a garden for my house. My child of a mother got upset and jealous, because, "When you were younger, you hated working outside with us." Sorry for maturing and developing new interests in the past 30 years, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 107

Leave no paper trace

By can’t do it - 25/04/2023 10:00

Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 178

Yeah, **** the poor

By Anonymous - 14/11/2020 08:02 - Canada

Today, I discovered my deadbeat ex-husband will not have to pay child support anymore, because while he sat on CERB the entire pandemic, I was an essential worker, and will be punished for having had an actual income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 177

Hold frame

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 14:01 - Australia - Thornleigh

Today, my stepfather-to-be yelled at me, insisting I take my nose piercing out, because it will "ruin the wedding photos" since I'm a bridesmaid. It's a tiny diamante stud, no bigger than a small pinhead. He then went on a rant about how I need to respect his authority in the family. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 160

Bitch better have my money

By Pio - 22/02/2022 16:00

Today, I asked my coworker to pay back the $100 I'd loaned her when she fell on hard times. She’s owed me for almost a year now, and she always said she’d pay me back “Next week.” She responded by telling HR that I was “harassing” and “threatening” her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 182

Grind mindset

By SOPISSEDOFFOMG - 11/05/2022 16:00

Today, I found out that my promotion had been rescinded and given to someone else, all because I was on a pre-approved vacation. According to my boss, they need someone who's "committed to the company" for the position, and gave me a lecture on how if I keep being "lazy" and "unmotivated" I'll never get ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 116

Thief!

By mystery - 19/09/2021 05:00

Today, my mom blocked me on everything, kicked me out of her house, and declared that I'm "dead to her." Why? She ordered a package, but it never came. I’m still trying to process how that could possibly be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 76

Thanks Rufo…

By Anonymous - 09/11/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my mom is planning on going to my high school's board meeting to complain about her latest boogeyman, Critical Race Theory, being taught. I graduated 17 years ago. She doesn't really know what it is, either. I really wish she could get over her bonkers Facebook groups addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 267

Catfished

By Travis - 12/02/2023 06:00 - Poland - Polska

Today, I found out after 6 months in basic training that my wife of 3 years was playing the long game to scam me. She took me for 25k while I was away, then left me for a homeless meth head. I've been "getting divorced" now longer than we had been happily married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 169

Compassion, brah

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 11:01

Today, I finally told my brother that I was being sexually harassed at work. I'm 22 and my brother is 41, and he literally told me that I don't even know what sexual harassment is, and then laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 148

Competitive

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 22:00

Today, my weightlifter husband is pouting because he is no longer able to lift the amounts he could a year ago. Meanwhile, our weightlifter son is fast approaching the weights my husband used to lift, and is being smug about it. It’s like living with two bears determined to be grumpy at each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 176

Healthy work environment

By Skylalala - 14/06/2022 18:00

Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 148

Starfish

By WhyBother - 21/02/2021 05:02

Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 349

Stay hydrated

By Time To Go - 23/09/2022 01:30

Today, my kid has severe diarrhoea. My husband said he was going out to get medicine. Two long, painful hours later, I find he's out eating and chilling with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 158

In the eye of the beholder

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 18:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 130