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The all-time greatest FMLs

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 95

Parenting styles may differ…

By Anonymous - 22/03/2022 00:01 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, it was my first day at my new high school. I put on a tiny bit of makeup, just some mascara, to feel more confident. I got in the car and my mom started yelling about how horrible my makeup is, basically calls me a slut for wearing it, and makes me take it off. I ended up crying in the bathroom on my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 164

21st Century Schizoid Man

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 04:00

Today, my brother is refusing a life-saving blood transfusion, just in case the blood happens to be deliberately contaminated with a disease by the government to kill him, for knowing aliens secretly made Rishi Sunak Prime Minister. Yes, he’s off his meds again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 158

Honest parenting

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 16:00

Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 181

Single life

By AnonThoughts - 19/09/2021 17:00

Today, I'm single again, after my now ex attacked my best friend out of jealousy, forcing me to choose between 25 years of friendship and 3 months of a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 131

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 18/05/2021 00:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 201

Facts over feelings

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 20:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, I noticed that my mom still has me saved in her phone with my married name. I told her she could change it back to my maiden name. She said, "Not until it's legal!" My husband and I have been separated for more than 2 years and my divorce will be finalized in 2 days. She still won't change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 236

The one with the asshole friend

By Anonymous - 07/11/2020 02:01 - India

Today, after going through a surgery related to my ovaries, having a life-threatening complication during the surgery due to anesthesia, and my doctor warning me about future infertility, a friend told me that no one would marry me now, since I have stretch marks and stitches marks on my abdomen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 91

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 15:00

Today, I showed my best friend proof that her husband was sexually harassing me. Now she's refusing to talk to me, and I can't let my own husband out of my sight, for fear that he's going to murder the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 144

All over the place

By unluckyinlove - 04/09/2021 17:01 - Australia - Ridgehaven

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me and now has a 4 year old, and as he’s told me, we should get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 99

The wedding is going to be cocobananas

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 18:00

Today, we announced our engagement. His mother immediately accused me of being a manipulative, gold digging whore. She's been fine with me for the last 5 years of dating, plus I used all my savings to support my boyfriend when he wanted to go back to college, but as soon as the ring appeared, I'm a gold digger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 80

Music nerds of the world unite!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 05:03

Today, I woke up this morning to find out I have lost all ability to hear. Not only is that medically concerning, it also means that now I can’t listen to the new albums I just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 107

People disprove

By matt - 12/03/2021 08:01

Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 139