Everyone in your house should wear earplugs at all times. Problem solved.

Sounds like you both have some stuff to work through. Couples therapy may be very beneficial or even a divorce if you both are truely unhappy and are unable to work through it

Open marriage need rules... I'm going to guess covid is why you're there. Have you not heard of ear plugs? Also was this today or last year?

I get the feeling that this open relationship thing was his idea, and he probably jumped into bed with your ex as soon as you agreed to go along with it. I'm also thinking that it took you a while to find your new boyfriend, and your husband either thought you'd never find someone else, or you wouldn't go as far as sleeping with them. Now that you have, it sounds like he's trying to make you feel guilty for having a boyfriend, even though he agreed to it, because what he really wanted was an excuse to bang your ex without you calling him a cheater, and still have you waiting for him should your ex become unavailable, or interested in a threesome. If this seems familiar, your husband is a dick, and you should consider a separation/divorce. If I'm way off, your husband is still a dick for saying you betrayed him, but you can tell him it was something he agreed to, so he has to live with it just like you.

You deserve each other, cheating bastards.

Thus makes no sense to me at all.

-.-

Yup, my ex-husband thought poly was a great idea when I brought it up. That was when he thought he could sleep with anyone he wanted and we'd have lots of threesomes. He changed his mind real quick when he realized that no, I didn't want threesomes, and yes, it meant I could have a boyfriend too.

You both seem to have different boundaries, which is normal. But there doesn't seem to be much communication between you two. My advice would be: talk about it. It's completely normal in poly relationships for people to have different levels of comfort regarding how much they want to know about their partner's sex life with their metamours. And you don't seem to be entirely comfortable listening to him having sex with someone else either. So why didn't you communicate that before? If you don't talk about it, eventually your relationship will fall apart. So this isn't an FML. It's simply an opportunity to have a honest talk with your partner about comfort zone and boundaries. Sounds to me like you are both pretty uncomfortable listening to the other having sex with someone else. That's completely alright. Just communicate that and then respect each other's boundary in that regard.

Why are you even married?