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Roommates from hell, part 4765

By SHUT UUUUUP - 02/03/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, I've found that it's hard to focus on important things when your roommate won't stop singing at the top of his lungs, without any music playing mind you, especially when his singing voice sounds like a cat being forced through a meat grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 97

Dirty girl

By I like sex dirty but not THAT dirty! - 20/07/2024 11:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is upset because I’ve been turning him down when he tries to initiate sex as soon as I walk in the door. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse and the thought of getting into bed without showering away all the day's germs repulses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 177

Words is hard

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 00:00

Today, when I got to a family reunion, I realized I've been on the internet for so long that I've forgotten how to have an actual conversation with real people. Now I'm the "Weird Uncle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 811

Cut your losses

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 02:00 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today, I found out my partner was cheating on me. We’ve been together for over 5 years. I tried to break it off with him but he won’t let me. I feel stuck and numb. I went to bed early, only to be woken up by him (on purpose) a couple of hours later and now can’t sleep because of a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 185

Non-starter pack

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Huxley

Today, I'm in love with my best friend. We are intimate but live 24 hours away from one another. We had been discussing him moving closer to me, which was a recent turn of events and I was elated. We could finally be together… until some unexpected tragic news uncovered a kid he wasn't aware of. Now he's a single dad and staying put. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 134

Playground Oops

By FML Videos - 30/10/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

Help! I'm Stuck!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 146

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 171

Get it on, bang a gong

By DrySpellcaster - 07/10/2020 16:57

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 245

Easy peasy

By KATY - 10/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after watching a few YouTube tutorials and thinking it looked easy, I decided to cut my own bangs. Halfway through, my scissors broke. Now I have uneven bangs and no way to fix them until I get to a salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 445

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 203

Time just flies by

By Oliver Beck - 17/10/2020 08:03

Today, I found out the girl I like is in love with someone else. Five weeks ago, she told me she's never been in love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 196

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 571

Occam's razor

By Lolololo - 18/08/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I called tech support because my new computer wasn’t turning on. After a long while on the phone, they finally asked if it was plugged in. It wasn’t. I spent way too long troubleshooting with a dead device because I never plugged it into the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 694

Runner up

By milamadeleine243 - 22/10/2020 14:00

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 375

Growing old is a shipwreck

By Sad Son - 22/08/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my Mum. She has invited me to visit her before, but kept cancelling whenever I tried to arrange an actual visit. I finally went over anyway, only to find her in a soiled nappy, room in ruins, with kidney failure-induced dementia. Sometimes they hide it well over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 118

By flowerfail - 16/06/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 731

You deserved it 4 990

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 24/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, when I left for work, my girlfriend had gorgeous, very long (down to her hips), dark red hair. When I came home from work, her head was shaved. I asked her why she did it, and all she said was, "I just got tired of taking care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 382

By qwerty - 27/11/2018 22:08

Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 33

Never going outside again

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, not only is my son a bully, but he's dumb enough to bully a kid whose parents both do martial arts. His mom is a cage fighter and his step-dad is a kickboxer. They're both huge, terrifying, and pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 604

Doomer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 00:00 - United Arab Emirates - Al Ain City

Today, no matter how hard I work, no matter what my position is, and how hard I have earned it, I will keep failing, knowing that the people who succeed won't do a thing to focus directly on advancing or substantially improving human life quality. I will be the last one to consider it, but will never be able to do a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 367

No jokes allowed

By Just a joke - 02/11/2020 05:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 256

Congrats

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my bosses pulled me aside and said to me they appreciated me for being such a hard worker, and told me they had something for me. They gave me a one year pin. Today was my 3 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 71

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from two years working abroad and my parents had a surprise party to welcome me back… and introduce me to my baby brother. Turns out my mum got pregnant while I was away and convinced the whole family to keep it a secret so it would be a big surprise. He’s almost a year old already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 94

This job sucks

By Rafael - 14/01/2022 20:01

Today, the thirteenth new hire quit at the call center I work at, while still in training. We just started last week with a wave of 20 new hires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 277

A real friend never lets you go

By Lewis - 08/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

Friendship is no joke

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 80

Alexa, play "These Things Take Time" by The Smiths

By p0isonOreo68 - 08/11/2020 08:03

Today, I broke my glasses, so I scheduled an appointment to get a new pair. The soonest available appointment? November 21st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 120

Not so sneaky

By Felicity - 11/09/2024 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 719

That one bad friend

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, the woman I am absolutely in love with will only be my friend. I wish I could get her to understand how much it hurts to see her with boyfriends, and only be friends. I'm starting to feel like I can't maintain this friendship because it hurts so much. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 830

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 2 796

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 11:01

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. My 3 best friends, who I've known since I was born, supported me by asking for her number, and now all are trying to date her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 185

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The Top

Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 602

You deserved it 13 933

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 353

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 259

You deserved it 6 719

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 195

You deserved it 4 014

Today, I found out my ex-girlfriend from a few months ago is dating a metalhead. I’m a metalhead and she did not care to explore metal when she was with me. Everything she didn’t care about me, she loves in him. He’s also better at guitar than I am too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 267