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By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 8 639

Uber sister

By Aerogal - 30/11/2020 17:01

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 181

Pink tax

By Mel - 01/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I got my period early. While traveling. For a funeral. I had to walk through two entire airport terminals to find a shop that had any period products, and the only option was an $18 box of tampons. Six tampons, to be precise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 108

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 274

You deserved it 10 974

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 301

You deserved it 5 381

By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 237

You deserved it 5 673

Bad omen

By burning up - 09/05/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I think it's a bad sign when you have a fan going and several windows open in a room, yet you are still hot enough to be sweating even when you take off some of your clothes. Of course, I could be wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 166

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 309

Signing off

By Kerrie - 05/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 591

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 156

You deserved it 3 367

Let's say, hypothetically…

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I asked my uber-religious parents what they would do if, hypothetically, they found out one of their closest friends was an atheist. The immediate response: "Forcibly try to convert them, and completely cut all ties if they don't accept." Guess I'll remain a closeted atheist for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 141

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 94

By MissSmarts - 14/12/2009 01:27 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 981

You deserved it 39 706

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 77

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 2 721

Help needed

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 11:59

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 241

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 00:02

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 276

I'm so bored

By Bored - 12/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 274

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 92

Family matters

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 04:58 - United States

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 118

Snooping

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 16:00 - India - Bhubaneswar

Today, I was forced to use Egspy on my wife's iPhone. She is going out with a colleague in exchange for getting her promotion approved. I've never had any hints or doubts, but it seems she's having illicit relations with multiple colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 162

By chicagobulls102 - 10/09/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 797

You deserved it 2 809

Shitty situation #766

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 14:00

Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 107

Leave me out of this

By hahahah111 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 231

You deserved it 4 390

By Anonymous - 07/07/2013 13:58 - United States - Wayne

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 638

You deserved it 5 073

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 940

You deserved it 10 337

Reach out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that although she loves me, she's not happy with our relationship, and wanted to end it. I have no one to talk to about it, and Chat GPT told me that our conversation had exhausted it. Even artificial intelligence rejects me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 308

Family

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 03:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I realized my cousin is an asshole. A cousin that I was close to who got engaged. I was excited to be part of her wedding day, since she was a big part of mine. Months later, on Instagram, she was sharing reels from her bachelorette party. When I asked her why she didn't invite me, she said she forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 111

Come on 2021

By Jaclyn Hoffman - 27/12/2020 23:01

Today, I realized how much 2020 has been an FML. We dealt with lockdown, stressful home renovations, losing a job due to health issues, and giant vet bills when we're already in debt up to our eyeballs. This has been a great start to our first year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 129

Suit yourself, but I know what I'm talking about

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 22:00 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, a colleague told me not to "tell him how to do his job." I used to have his position three years ago, and he took over from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 403

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The Top

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 476

You deserved it 3 141

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 596

You deserved it 10 428

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 077

You deserved it 31 150

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 266

Today, my street had a power cut while I was on my PS5. Luckily, they got it back on 4 hours later and my PS5 automatically repaired the damage to my save file. The power went off again 15 minutes later but came back on almost straight away, like a blip, but now my PS5 is dead. It won’t even turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 122

Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 391