Today, I learned that you can't fool the self-checkout scanner by taking six items and only paying for two. Sometimes, two big security guards may grab you by both arms and take you to their office. To convince them to let me off the hook, I desperately said that it was just a joke. They weren't laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said, "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, at the grocery store, the cops grabbed, cuffed, and hauled me to the station after the clerk called on me. I was with my 11 year-old niece, and she secretly tried to buy a pregnancy test. Despite saying it was for her aunt (my wife) who asked her to buy it for her without me knowing, they didn't believe her. FML
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Top comments
kitten79TX 5
So, lemme get this straight... you tried to steal. you got caught. You got detained because you got caught trying to steal. And you expect sympathy? Is that about right? How about this for a life plan....DON'T FRIGGIN BREAK THE LAW... you're lucky you weren't arrested.
LunaEevee13 25
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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Comments (7)
LunaEevee13 25
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
poopface82 25
Have you never used a self-checkout scanner? Those things compare what you scanned to the weight of your product. You would have been lucky to pilfer ONE of those items, let alone four. YDI big time for being a clueless knob.
kitten79TX 5
So, lemme get this straight... you tried to steal. you got caught. You got detained because you got caught trying to steal. And you expect sympathy? Is that about right? How about this for a life plan....DON'T FRIGGIN BREAK THE LAW... you're lucky you weren't arrested.
BurnInDemonFire 39
As the wisest of us once said: "STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!"
theark 14
That’s a very disproportionate # of items taken compared to bought
Brightside86 31
To her very lofty defense, having self checkout doubles the amount of shrinkage. That tells me that there must be ways people are at least occasionally getting by the security measures put in place.