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alright. lets get a few things cleared, i never cheated. and he was already my ex boyfriend, we were just trying to work things out. he got pissed off because i told him i was done with his bullshit mind games, and if he couldnt make up his mind i was out of there. he couldnt handle the truth. then thats when the yelling started. the guy turns 19 in 5 days. i think every girl can agree he needs to grow some balls and handle things like a man, not a little kid

Masked Singer

By ted_the_interpreter - 22/11/2020 14:03 - United States - Corona

Today, I was in a video conference with my coworkers. They started arguing so much that I decided to turn off my video and started chanting ,"Let it be over, let it be over... Let me go!" The boss finally stoped everybody to comment, "We can hear you." I hadn't turned my mic off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 507

Life hack

By Anonymous - 29/04/2023 15:00

Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 167

This is not good parenting

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, and for the past week, I've been incredibly on edge because apparently my dad is kicking me out but I don't know when, and my mom has told me I'm not allowed to tell anyone. She then got mad at me because I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 96

By anon - 25/07/2013 04:44 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 5 008

By rollerSWEETness - 03/06/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 80

Be a better parent

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 775

They're everywhere!

By facepalm - 22/07/2013 20:19 - United States

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted, "False flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 275

You deserved it 3 128

Grammar rules, OK!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 9 413

By PookaKay02 - 20/09/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 8 639

Uber sister

By Aerogal - 30/11/2020 17:01

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 181

Pink tax

By Mel - 01/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I got my period early. While traveling. For a funeral. I had to walk through two entire airport terminals to find a shop that had any period products, and the only option was an $18 box of tampons. Six tampons, to be precise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 108

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 274

You deserved it 10 974

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 301

You deserved it 5 381

By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 237

You deserved it 5 673

Bad omen

By burning up - 09/05/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I think it's a bad sign when you have a fan going and several windows open in a room, yet you are still hot enough to be sweating even when you take off some of your clothes. Of course, I could be wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 166

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 309

Signing off

By Kerrie - 05/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 591

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 156

You deserved it 3 367

Let's say, hypothetically…

By Anonymous - 07/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I asked my uber-religious parents what they would do if, hypothetically, they found out one of their closest friends was an atheist. The immediate response: "Forcibly try to convert them, and completely cut all ties if they don't accept." Guess I'll remain a closeted atheist for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 141

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 94

By MissSmarts - 14/12/2009 01:27 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 981

You deserved it 39 706

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 77

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 2 721

Help needed

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 11:59

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 241

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 00:02

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 276

I'm so bored

By Bored - 12/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 274

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 92

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 299

You deserved it 19 062

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 7 775

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 489

You deserved it 47 377

Today, I learned that me wearing a mask will not stop creepy old men from telling me to smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 118

Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 91

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 72