The Top

Thanks for all the great replies, it is awesome to have one of my stories put up. My friends were kind enough to give me back my clippers before work, so I had enough time to get ready. To give a better image to everyone, my hair was about shoulder length and very curly. On the plus side, it is a lot cooler for me now than it previously was. We were able to have a good laugh about it, and I have payback to look forward to.

Equality

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 22:05 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 257

No respect

By That's capitalism, baby - 10/05/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to finally take a day off work and relax at home. However, as soon as I was on the couch to Netflix and chill with my cat, I got a call from my boss saying I was needed at the office to fix a major issue. I ended up spending the entire day at work and didn't get to enjoy my "day off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 185

Overly enthusiastic

By Dan the man - 08/10/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 160

Overreaction much?

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:02

Today, I accidentally washed the jacket my mother bought me in the washing machine. I didn't know it was supposed to be dry cleaned. My mother ended up crying and screaming that I don't love her, and this would be the last time she ever buys me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 358

Oddly specific

By mr. e - 18/05/2023 22:00

Today, I discovered that at the age of 24, I would actually rather break a toe than eat a food I don’t like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 686

Crossroads

By Work Horse - 27/05/2023 06:00

Today, while having the most stressful work week ever, it's also the first time I’ve seen my ex since she dumped me about a month ago. She’s happy and ecstatic; I’m stressed out and still semi heart broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 141

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 139

What would you do?

By Immajerk - 20/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I just got a girlfriend who I love a lot, but I’m friends with this other girl out of pity. It’s so obvious she likes me a lot, and even goes the extra mile for me, but she’s just not my type. I’ve contemplated many times how to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. I just can’t bring myself to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 606

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 18:00

Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 193

Make an entrance, not a scene

By Anonymous - 14/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was a guest performer for a school orchestra concert a grade above mine. When they called my name, I didn’t hear them, so when they started the song hundreds of people watched me run on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 351

Memory low

By emma - 24/12/2020 05:02

Today, while my mom was explaining the house rules surrounding the towels, I took out a notepad and began taking notes. She snatched it away and threw it across the room. I need the notes or else I’ll forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 185

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 147

Tock follow tick follows tock…

By Sad - 03/01/2021 11:01

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 76

Swiss cheese

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is furious at me because she made a memory box for our kids, with objects linked to milestones, silly memories, holidays and so on, and try as I might I couldn’t identify a single damn one of them, except for a paint sampler from the time we repainted the whole house in one weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 465

Never miss a chance to sit down

By wookieewhosshe - 05/06/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Cowdenbeath

Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 147

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 127

I am the passenger

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 71

Doofus move

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 18:00

Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe won’t go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I don’t have insurance so this is going to be fucking expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 499

If it was intentional…

By Anonymous - 06/11/2024 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 139

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 08/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 509

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 340

You deserved it 17 611

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 940

You deserved it 41 681

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 2 941

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 546

You deserved it 71 226

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 2 745

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 462

You deserved it 5 732