The Top

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 2 927

Monday blues

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 11:02

Today, I asked my boss if I could take a vacation day for my birthday on Monday. She called to tell me yes, and then told me I'm getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 89

Having a whale of a time

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 10:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my boyfriend is packing up his apartment and my parents have gone to a seminar, but I can’t complain about being lonely during the Easter holidays. I'm being kept company by a hundred industrious ants, a very loud cat, and an enthusiastic Aunt Flo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 10:35 - Norway

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 938

You deserved it 2 391

By Downanout - 04/05/2019 18:00

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 262

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 19/04/2023 06:00 - United States - Stafford

Today, I'm a hoarder, and my boyfriend has had enough. He asked if I wanted to save an empty orange juice jug. I know this is the end of our relationship and end of my life. I'm sorting through all my stuff and deciding what to throw away and what to give away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 945

By blondieforlife - 04/11/2014 03:38 - United States - Racine

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 529

You deserved it 3 599

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 322

You deserved it 39 833

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 007

You deserved it 4 775

Cost of living crisis

By Jaded618 - 05/12/2010 12:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 3 943

Ruined art

By annie - 17/11/2020 00:08 - United States - Denver

Today, while sitting on a bench drawing, some guy went up to me, yelled, “YOUR ART SUCKS” and flipped my sketchpad out of my hands. I’d been working on that piece for hours and now there’s a big black pencil streak on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 104

Don't blame the dog!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 10:00

Today, I realized that it's not just the dog who's cockblocking me and not letting me get close. My girlfriend, whom I live with, rejects practically every advance. Of course, during her shark week, at least I get an excuse. I average once a month if I'm lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 416

Scene from a movie

By Mel - 06/03/2022 00:01

Today, I'm crying in an Uber because my significant other just broke up with me. I'm crying quietly but there's no way the driver hasn't noticed at this point. I'm OK with him not saying anything, but he also hasn't changed the music. All that's playing is Pink, and not the loud, girl-power songs, but the sad, slow ones about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 223

By Shutup! - 31/10/2014 10:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 974

You deserved it 2 624

By happybirthday - 26/09/2011 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 634

You deserved it 2 870

Ma'm, we closed 10 minutes ago

By Samantha - 19/11/2020 13:08 - United States - Kingsport

Today, I had a woman throw a clipboard and yell at me to then storm off, still yelling in the mall where I work, all because I'd told her it was too late to do a piercing tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 94

By NoColor - 29/10/2014 13:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 550

You deserved it 4 306

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 246

You deserved it 2 251

By astocks - 24/09/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was "Photoshopped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 039

You deserved it 3 235

Don't hate the player…

By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 03:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 164

Jumping the gun

By Storm - 23/09/2011 03:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 312

You deserved it 5 953

The graduate

By A high school senior who is ready to be DONE - 30/04/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, it was time to take graduation cap and gown pics. My cap didn't fit on my head. I'd specifically requested that they make it much larger, but they didn't. When someone tried to force it onto my head, it tore apart. So now I have no graduation cap. I'm so fucking done. Only 2 weeks left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 152

Cruel world

By where’s the humanity? - 21/02/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my professor why I’d missed two classes. Even with a doctor’s note explaining my very serious health issues, she rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maybe if you’re ‘oh so sick,’ you should just drop out!” Gee, sorry for trying to improve my life through adversity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 109

Fundies do the darndest things

By Leah - 03/02/2022 18:01 - United States - Queens Village

Today, my home health aide doused me with what she considered to be Holy Water. It was bottled water. Turns out she was having a meltdown. It's a freezing day in New York City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 105

Congratulations, you played yourself!

By JulesRules - 30/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 534

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 12:49 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 3 113

By Heather - 31/05/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 87

Greetings

By anonymous409 - 01/12/2020 20:01

Today, I was going out to buy some stuff from the store. As I was leaving, my mom warned me to tie my shoelaces; I told her not to worry about it. As I'm walking down the street, I see my crush walking towards me. As I get closer and say hi, I trip on my shoelaces and face-plant into her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 541

Down the hole we go

By Anonymous - 12/02/2022 09:00 - United States - Carmichael

Today, I found out I might have been exposed to HPV. So what do I do? End up in the internet self-diagnosis rabbit hole. Now I'm convinced I have something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 787

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The Top

Today, I was riding an electric scooter on my way to work when a car sped out of a driveway and hit me. Not only did I end up in hospital, but I missed my job on the second day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 137

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 314

You deserved it 7 569

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 898

You deserved it 4 238

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 461

You deserved it 4 368

Today, I finally received counselling for my horrible and irrational fear of abandonment. After sitting in the waiting room for two hours, I got a phone call from my therapist. She'd forgotten I was there and gone for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 720

You deserved it 290

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 456

You deserved it 4 156