Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
K_kanaka 26
I can honestly say that my grandpa would do the exact same thing to me. -__-
ScaughtieHolden 11
Pun intended #1?
mccaincracker 6
Anyone read it as "then HIS hard salty thing flew Into my mouth", or just me? xD
Ardos 3
I see what u did there #1
buck33 14
27 - Just you.
n_epic_fail 14
I read hard and salty and thought "op, what the ****... With grandpa?!"
jonriise18 3
Yea, I thought this was going to a very dark place when it said, "hard salty thing flew in my mouth".
linkinpark98 24
Ah, gotta love grandpas. :)
leprechaun23 15
They say what they think and dont care who hears
zack11742 7
Ya my grandpa would do the same shit
pslcdsl 9
Gotta love your pappy :)
Marcelb 17
Your grandpa is funny. And learn to shut up! :P
Pentium_4 27
it's always kind of surprising when an old person says something like that, but they know they can get away with it, which makes it hilarious
Biglaxboss63 0
Maby u were going to say somthin bad so god threw a beatle into ur mouth to make u stop befor embarising anyone At least it wasnt a vw beatle
ScaughtieHolden 11
Which Beatle? You don't have that many choices here. :[ R.I.P. John Lennon & George Harrison.
bubbywaldo 0
isn't it difficult and time consuming to intentionally spell every word so horribly?
breezyblue33 19
You need to turn your autocorrect back on. 0__o
gossipgirl3_fml 2
*maybe *you *something *beetle *your *you *before *embarrassing *beetle
bettyc4 26
Extra protein ;)
marinus_fml 20
Always a good thing!
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Respect your elders. Always
wittygirl 8
What jerk would thumb down your comment. When it's true... Damn Commies!
sjaytee 6
How was OP disrespecting their elders? Idiot
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
danivolley64 10
i thought the same thing xD sorry OP stop buggin ur grandpa
b0ngs 7
Your grandpa should appriciate that you're spending time with him. Most kids dont nowadays. But the beetle thing is disgusting
choshaki 8
Your grandpa is so cute! Maybe you should consider talking less next time..