The Top

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By nyatzz - 16/11/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 271

You deserved it 2 932

By Zmeilerr - 15/01/2011 05:38 - United States

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 695

You deserved it 16 743

Zmeilerr tells us more.

Zmeilerr 22

Saturday 15 January 2011 17:20

Thank you guys for all the advice/comments. I think it was just a bunch of dumb idiots from my school just messing around, but nonetheless, I took it seriously. Again thanks.

By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 272

You deserved it 6 670

How could you?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 07:00 - Estonia

Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 157

Some salt for that wound?

By Luissa - 03/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband’s new girlfriend stopped by the pharmacy I work at, checked out at my lane, and had me ring up her condoms. She kept bragging about how she’s gonna have “nasty freaky sex” with my ex all night long while I work at a “miserable pharmacy.” I burst into tears while she laughed and waltzed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 175

By BeautifulChaos27 - 17/09/2013 23:56 - United States - Granby

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 6 768

BeautifulChaos27 tells us more.

BeautifulChaos27 37

Thursday 19 September 2013 2:39

Okay, first off, I am a women. As for the fml, I was complaining that I pay such a high price to get those two texts a day and the occasional phone call from my employer to cover a shift. Expensive paper weight is what it is and I'm stuck in a contract. With the debate on price, yes, very expensive. I get unlimited text as well as calling (god knows what for), and 1 gig of data which I never use up since I'm almost always in wifi. I do in fact have somebody on my plan with me but that only adds another 10 dollars a month to my bill. There's also insurance on both phones, considering they are smart phones and I'm a bit of a klutz. I know I could always shop around with other phone competitors but living where I do if you so much as want service in your home you have little choice. Any more questions? :P

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2021 01:58

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d have a surprise for me when I got home. The surprise was he’d moved out, dumped me, and cut me off from his share of the bills, because he’s not interested in marriage and babies. I can’t afford the rent by myself so I’m going to have to move back to my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 200

I blame the parents

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 05:00

Today, my son decided he is done with women and is never getting married. I couldn’t even argue with him that modern women aren’t worth marrying because his sister just yesterday dumped her boyfriend because he refused to pay to get her car out of impound for her unpaid parking tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 247

One joke too far

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 14:01

Today, after spending 5 years working towards my dream job, getting it, and while in training telling a risqué joke, I got suspended the next day, lost the job, and I'm now in a shitty admin job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 886

By SadFace - 12/09/2013 12:39 - Australia - Newmarket

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 840

You deserved it 3 863

Still going

By Regina - 03/07/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 433

You deserved it 55 595

Rebellion

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 04:59 - Panama - Cuba

Today, my sister and I are never allowed to go out, and by out I mean even open the front door. Last night, I snuck outside. What did I do in my rare act of rebellion? I cut the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 132

Hell in a handbasket

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to help my community by cleaning up a patch of waste ground covered in litter. Instead of gratitude, I was reported to the cops and issued with fines for noise complaints, trespassing, causing a nuisance, littering, harming wildlife, and about 15 other offences. Screw this community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 177

By walnutbladder - 07/01/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 836

You deserved it 4 080

Now Playing

By Thescarlettfox - 17/09/2020 16:58

Today, my eleven-year-old cousin, who lives with me, has discovered Old Town Road. He’s been playing it for four hours on repeat and I’m ready to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 131

You're probably better off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 01:58 - United States - Ashburn

Today, after my cheating wife moved out earlier this year, the kids are with her and her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't get a single invite from any of my local family members to Thanksgiving dinner. I had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 151

By Queso Dog - 02/10/2012 14:42 - Japan

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256

You deserved it 28 620

By Anonymous - 04/11/2011 19:38 - United States

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 214

You deserved it 6 869

Wardrobe malfunction

By Oh shirt! - 02/03/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, I tried to take off my hoodie. Somehow my shirt came off with it, leaving me shirtless in public, as I sheepishly tried to put it back on. Not only were people staring, but there was a mother covering her son's eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 240

By Mightaswelltutordogs - 21/12/2014 01:16 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 549

You deserved it 5 580

So romantic…

By SoundsLikeStalking - 21/12/2021 17:01

Today, I learned why my ex dumped me. Her current boyfriend asked her out every single day for a year and a half on Facebook. She figured that if he was that committed, he must really like her. She didn't even meet him until right before she dumped me. They knew nothing almost about each other when they hooked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 137

Nice

By mandiballz - 12/01/2010 06:46 - United States

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year-old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He said, "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 4 464

Tardy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I had to tell my daughter 7 times to get ready for school. I packed her lunch, made her breakfast, got her clothes ready for her, and yet it still took her half an hour to get dressed, making me just under an hour late for work due to peak hour traffic. Traffic I would have beaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 673

Astronomical

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, my phone alarm went off at 3 AM. I don't remember setting it, but it turns out I'd somehow activated an old "Wake up for a meteor shower" reminder. Despite it being the wrong day by months, I got up, looked outside, and only then did my brain kick into gear and I realized it was set for the wrong date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 193

Helicopter parents

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 20:00

Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 144

Dear John

By Homegrown 2024 - 30/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend asked me to act more like Homelander in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 143

By anonymous - 12/12/2014 01:17 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 108

You deserved it 3 471

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 384

You deserved it 2 587

By oD_Ronan - 29/08/2013 07:39 - United States - Olympia

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 317

You deserved it 4 535

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 02:52 - United States

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 775

You deserved it 2 614

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year-old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 928

You deserved it 2 581

Today, it's been a little while since I found out that my parents are getting a divorce. They'd been married for 25 years and my father got bored and lost feelings. My mother is crying and howling on the bathroom floor right now. It has happened before, but since it was in our upstairs bathroom, I could open the door with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 146

Today, as I was perusing old photos with my mother, I found one of her with a "childhood friend" at her wedding to my dad. Now I know where my green eyes and blotchy neck birthmark came from, and it's not from the man I’ve been calling "dad" for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 888

You deserved it 274

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 807

You deserved it 3 447

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 571

You deserved it 4 536

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 283