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By nerderer - 15/03/2015 14:57 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 3 346

By Misty3242 - 06/02/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 4 146

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 12:49

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 336

You deserved it 2 367

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 1 961

By Anonymous - 26/01/2010 18:55 - Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 379

You deserved it 8 732

By nikkih_06 - 04/12/2014 05:20 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 847

You deserved it 2 314

nikkih_06 tells us more.

nikkih_06 16

Thursday 4 December 2014 20:55

I was demoted from part time to causal part time, which requires that I work less then 20 hours a week. And I only get commission if I go over my goal.

By moosemay - 14/01/2016 15:05 - Germany - Dittelbrunn

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 568

You deserved it 1 816

By oliversoden101 - 24/12/2015 14:50 - United States - Miami

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 835

You deserved it 9 692

oliversoden101 tells us more.

oliversoden101 14

Friday 25 December 2015 1:50

Hi I'm the OP, I'm glad I got published that's awesome! The doctor fixed up my nose and it already feels a lot better, I think it's mostly the morphine though. Anyway I learned my lesson with guns and I doubt my dad will let me touch one again for a LONG time.

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 010

You deserved it 2 602

Losing streak

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card, since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV, a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 3 603

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 15:42 - Australia - Burnside

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with our crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 066

You deserved it 3 891

Fellas, is it gay to date a woman?

By dykerino - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 139

You deserved it 7 714

By legrand - 14/09/2016 08:11 - France - Grenoble

Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you should pay more bills than me, since you’re taller, you eat more, drink more and your clothes take up more space in the washing machine”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 125

By Broken - 03/11/2015 18:13 - United States - Billerica

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 588

You deserved it 1 791

By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 105

You deserved it 2 835

Manchild

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 527

You deserved it 4 342

By daidax_238 - 25/10/2016 16:33

Today, my parents are forcing me to go to an insanely conservative, Christian private school. I'm gay. This is going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 449

You deserved it 1 774

daidax_238 tells us more.

daidax_238 26

Wednesday 26 October 2016 23:18

Hey guys! It's OP here. I'm just here to clear up a few things. First of all, my parents know I'm gay and they don't like that at all. And for the few of you guys saying "there's still gonna be gay kids there, blah blah blah" you're wrong. It's a very small school within the area and only about 250 kids go there. So far, I haven't heard anything about a single gay kid in the entire school. To be honest with you it's just a shitty situation that I can't do much about. But thanks to everybody for the support!

By MissedTheBoat - 14/04/2013 07:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 696

You deserved it 4 208