Holidays: Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The... - FML

26/08/2014 07:48 - France

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 254

You deserved it 4 066

Late term

Dysfunctional

Stealth attack

16/08/2013 02:32 - United States - Miami

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 009

You deserved it 8 905

16/05/2019 04:03

Today, I received a series of rejection letters from jobs, one after the other. Last night, I stayed up into the wee morning hours to apply to campus jobs I'm not qualified for, because I was classified as a part-time student due to an administrative error. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 138

15/10/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 158

You deserved it 6 693

04/08/2016 14:42 - United States - Urbana

Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 1 586

27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 618

You deserved it 5 356

11/11/2010 18:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 217

You deserved it 4 876

15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 9 917

Noisy lover

By Foxy17 - 05/08/2020 05:01

Spicy

Today, the new heart medication I take makes it hard for me to get an erection. It also gives me gas. My wife is getting sick of me farting when we're finally able to screw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 130

28/03/2011 23:27 - United States

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 427

You deserved it 31 663

13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 506

You deserved it 4 741

16/01/2009 09:40 - United States

Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 918

You deserved it 20 116

Whoops

By mmv - 18/09/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 021

You deserved it 2 134

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 704

You deserved it 10 143

12/03/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 122

You deserved it 43 142

23/08/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 741

You deserved it 5 458

29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 617

You deserved it 27 635

26/05/2015 05:09 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 523

You deserved it 2 236

Strange Diet

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 18:00

Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 181

19/12/2013 17:20 - United States - Union

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 377

You deserved it 4 342

19/11/2016 19:52

Today, I understand the finer points of the government in Star Wars better than I understand the U.S. government. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 957

You deserved it 2 573

25/08/2018 18:30

Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 1 308

17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 129

You deserved it 418

12/06/2012 10:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 292

You deserved it 30 049

Basic Instinct

By too proud to beg - 23/09/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 220

Ouch

By lifesmells - 27/06/2009 00:29 - Canada

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 762

You deserved it 13 074

11/12/2018 17:30

Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 210

21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 771

You deserved it 3 640

31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 863

You deserved it 1 613

What?!

By needmorelocks - 03/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 665

You deserved it 2 755

19/10/2009 07:10 - Indonesia

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 694

You deserved it 3 392

My eyes! My eyes!

By bleach for my eyes please - 07/03/2021 17:01

Spicy

Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I opened the clip. The things I’ve seen… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 390

04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 978

You deserved it 3 386

15/08/2011 14:45 - United States

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 277

You deserved it 3 710

17/07/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 082

You deserved it 4 265

29/03/2014 17:03 - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 420

You deserved it 7 273

30/07/2012 05:56 - United States - Las Cruces

Spicy

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 6 413

21/01/2016 18:17 - Spain - M?laga

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 740

You deserved it 1 885

11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 274

You deserved it 2 870

Hyperpoop

By Elongated Muskrat - 17/05/2021 00:01 - France

Today, a friend of mine enthusiastically explained to me how Elon Musk's car-tunnel-thing is supposed to work. I don't know what's worse, the dumbass tunnel or the fact that my friend thinks it's an amazing idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 992

Morning surprise

By Lindy - 10/02/2021 03:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, when I woke up, I thought I’d be sexy by waking my girlfriend with oral sex. Still half asleep, she said, “Robert, stop it that tickles.” My name is Linda, we’re a lesbian couple who've never expressed interest in men, so who the fuck is Robert? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 408

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Top comments

WhatsYOURname6 25

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:41

I had the same problem in Italy.. On holy days they play songs every 15 mins.. Our house was directly beside the church too. Feel your pain OP.

steveykinz0967 16

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:41

Wait so if they rang every hour why didn't the ring at 2am bother you?

Comments

ladoom 23

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:39

You counted?

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 19:54

Or OP knows how many hours there are in a day ...

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 20:17

shouldn't it ring 8 times at 8?!

laden_swallow09 34

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 7:30

24- Likely meant all together through the night.

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 15:40

50: unlikely if you do the math ...

WhatsYOURname6 25

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:41

I had the same problem in Italy.. On holy days they play songs every 15 mins.. Our house was directly beside the church too. Feel your pain OP.

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:47

Yep. Same thing when I stayed in a monastery in Nome, France. And no one spoke English, so meals were basically just charades with food.

almightyteapot 8

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 22:02

I kind of had a similar experiense in Japan. I stayed in this quite small village for a week and every single morning at six o'clock they blasted this morning stretch routine on the streets. They actually play the same routine in Battle Royale at the end of the movie.

atav 17

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 5:57

Experience, quiet...

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Sunday 7 June 2015 7:31

YES! This happened to me when I stayed at my grandparents' house in Italy. It would bong 15 times at 12:45, and was legitimately right next to the room I was staying in. A few yards from the window

steveykinz0967 16

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:41

Wait so if they rang every hour why didn't the ring at 2am bother you?

domolovesyoshi 33

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 19:37

because she was probable dead to the world by then, she was probable trying to lie in when the 8am one went

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 22:00

You should learn how to spell probably

qdawg06 23

Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:42

Time to invest in some ear plugs...

lifa 16

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:42

It's a country made wake up alarm. Now you're never late for work.

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 7:25

Optimism in its finest state. c:

chlorinegreen 27

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 12:25

If the bells go off every hour wouldn't you be confused on which hour you needed to be up? I know that it dings the number of hours of what time it is but like at my grandmas house it plays songs and doesn't ding.

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:49

Wake up, wake up in another world..

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 4:43

Is that what happened to you?

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:49

Time to invest in some noise canceling headphones

monstermatt001 13

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:53

Ding dong

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 20:18

Ding ding

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 20:51

Dong ding

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 21:53

Dong dong

RLG4 20

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 22:37

Ding Dong!

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 22:53

Dong dong, the witch is dead. The wicked witch, that total fucking bitch.

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 23:52

C-c-combo breaker! :3

greencurtains74 11

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Wednesday 27 August 2014 7:48

this will give him bell ringing ptsd!

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 18:56

Who needs an alarm clock when you've got church bells, and there is no snooze button.

Rizzen 27

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Tuesday 26 August 2014 19:11

my god that has to annoying as fuck

Nearly

Today, I have to do a science presentation in approximately 10 minutes. I didn’t do the assignment or make a PowerPoint cause I stayed up all night trying to do my French homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 213

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 156