By Stuckwiththebill

The show must go on!

Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6467

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410

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Love

Preventive measures

Can't win

Mom knows shit

By egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27974

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3201

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By Kelly - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32089

You deserved it

3152

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By Anonymous

Worth a shot

Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1856

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224

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By whatheffers - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66266

You deserved it

8906

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By Anonymous - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28284

You deserved it

1963

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By mooseknuckle - United States

Today, I realized that the closest thing I have to a savings account is the cup on my dresser with coins in it. I counted it, $17.34. That is my savings. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21733

You deserved it

50658

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By ELK

Today, having played golf for 15 years, I had my first hole in one. I was playing by myself. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3821

You deserved it

348

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By nu_ravers_101 - United States

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40247

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4045

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By Tyler_Padgett - United States

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13937

You deserved it

58954

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By Anonymous - 11/3/2021 00:30

Don't be an asshole

Today, the only person I know that ever traveled with me told me he doesn't enjoy the experience and thinks I'm an asshole, so I don't have a travel buddy any more. Every affordable trip requires two people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

342

You deserved it

998

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By Rebecca2135

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3463

You deserved it

297

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32405

You deserved it

2539

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56507

You deserved it

2455

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By DebitDebacle

Today, after my bank sent me a new card because the old one had been compromised, I woke up to find that it's already been used to start an Amazon Prime account and order several movies. The card to replace a compromised card has been compromised. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3979

You deserved it

239

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2020 05:01

Collateral damage

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1656

You deserved it

277

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By dazedandconfused - United Kingdom - Dorking

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13325

You deserved it

1086

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By katie - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1620

You deserved it

3629

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By bestbfever

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4733

You deserved it

390

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By alone in ND

Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2100

You deserved it

182

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By donttouchmyhair - Romania - Bucharest

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48253

You deserved it

3790

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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 20:02 - Australia

Admit you're shit

Today, I found out that one of my coworkers, who has been with the company for less than a week, is getting a $7k pay rise. I've been with the company for 8 months and still on minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

928

You deserved it

109

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By musicthief - United States - Finleyville

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24154

You deserved it

1877

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By Reebee

Today, I got off late from my bartending job, which is close to my house, but my boyfriend begged me to come to his place half an hour away. I decided the sex would be worth the drive. He was sound asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3125

You deserved it

511

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41538

You deserved it

9703

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By Anonymoose - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19604

You deserved it

55344

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By fatty fatfuck

You can't win

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2158

You deserved it

183

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By brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51065

You deserved it

4765

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By Watchingmyfigure - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8889

You deserved it

1212

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By Anonymous

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "2 minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1458

You deserved it

172

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By SailorVenus93 - 26/2/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

No pain, no gain

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

694

You deserved it

163

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Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a restaurant to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2205

You deserved it

133

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By epistaxis - Australia

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36538

You deserved it

3924

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By Mike - United States - Burlington

Drama Llama

Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1386

You deserved it

112

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By FMyThroat - Peru - Lima

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31602

You deserved it

2807

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By marriedwithfamily - United States

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

86520

You deserved it

3460

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By Anonymous

Freaky.

Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5990

You deserved it

361

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 11:09

The old switcheroo

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

668

You deserved it

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By lalalalainie - United States - Fullerton

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11728

You deserved it

35313

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By Awkward - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38777

You deserved it

3837

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By combovercaiti_

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

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2209

You deserved it

336

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Top comments

By Allie614032 | 34

#7591823 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:32

At least you found out before you were married.

By interesting33 | 36

#7591825 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:34

I am so sorry this happened. I am struggling to believe it is true because it is so horrific. and wouldn't the priest refuse/would your family stand by and watch? it sounds too much like a film. wouldn't she want her family at her wedding? would she have it spur of the moment like that? i certainly wouldn't be paying if I were you

COMMENTS

By Allie614032 | 34

#7591823 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:32

At least you found out before you were married.

By interesting33 | 36

#7591825 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:34

By RichardPencil | 30

#7591826 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

kusje | 29

#7591838 - Sunday 28 January 2018 2:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By RichardPencil | 30

#7591827 - Sunday 28 January 2018 1:37

Why didn’t your dad and all your male relatives beat that rat to death?

Grizz8831 | 13

#7893122 - Saturday 28 March 2020 20:31

probably some nonsense about it being a felony... not to mention very few people have such penchant for that kind of violence, against how badass killers most people say they are...

By delude | 26

#7591835 - Sunday 28 January 2018 2:24

I’m so sorry this happened to you, you deserve so much better in life

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7591841 - Sunday 28 January 2018 2:38

Wait, so your groom to be immediately married your maid of honor and everybody watched?
That sounds awfully awkward.

By core01 | 30

#7591844 - Sunday 28 January 2018 3:09

No marriage license?

Grizz8831 | 13

#7893124 - Saturday 28 March 2020 20:32

depending on the faith the actual ceremony is the important part. the license is just for legal purposes

By acmariner99 | 24

#7591845 - Sunday 28 January 2018 3:15

Awkward, horrible, dump em both ... but at least you found out before you got married.

By DanielleinDC | 32

#7591851 - Sunday 28 January 2018 4:21

How could they get married without a license?

I'm really sorry, though. Too bad you didn't find out before the ceremony.

By icagoobo | 19

#7591861 - Sunday 28 January 2018 5:56

Sounds fishy. Marriage licenses have to be obtained in advance by weeks with both names of the intended to be wed on it. Whatever wedding they had wasn’t legally binding most likely.

never_three | 21

#7593428 - Thursday 1 February 2018 11:17

Not true, my husband and I only had to wait 24 hours after obtaining our marriage license.

Danielle Holder | 2

#7594049 - Friday 2 February 2018 17:40

We had to wait 20min for ours.