Date night

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 22:26 - United States

Spicy
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 562
You deserved it 3 990

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Top comments

KingDingALing 9

Take the hint, OP. What guy would give up the chance to have kinky sex with his wife all night long? I'll tell you what kind of guy would do that, a gay guy. Give him a dildo for Christmas.

u can still have sex. just not with him.

Comments

Skullcrusher 5

what's a Dutch oven?

I looked it up: Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds. Jonas nearly crapped his Underoos preparing a Dutch Oven for his special lady!

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dutch+oven

how do you people not know what a Dutch oven is....it's related to the Dutch rudder and the flying Dutchman. but op you asked for kinky sex, whats more kinky than a Dutch oven in bed mmm

OP what are you nagging about? Chinese food buffet IS the shit.

It's when u fart and stick the girl's head under thr blanket.

what an assclown

ishama13 0

How about

it's not like they can with the kids around..the whole point was to have it when they weren't around...so they couldn't walk in on them doing it

Talk to him about it? Make suggestions? That one was difficult.



free2speak 14

I didn't know what a dutch oven was. just saying that not everybody knows all the lingos.

kofinater 3

sounded like a nice dinner and kinky sex to me, i love chinese food

CoachLlama 5

You're not going to want to cook your turkey in a Dutch oven. Lets just leave it at that.

where someone farts under the covers and you go under the covers and it all smells..

well I say, that's a FIRST

whoisthisgirl 4

men these days.

your husband isnt too nice... >.<

Welcome to marriage. Communication is key! you were probably unclear.

Thank you for saying that for me ;)

karinabeby 0

PWND.

WTSchool 0

Oh, boo hoo. So you weren't able to have sex with your husband. Your life is over. I suggest you get over it, don't concentrate on just sex. Have you ever thought of just talking? Or is your mind too clouded by that sort of stuff? Jesus.

how do you know all the op thinks about is sex? maybe they rarely do, and she thought this would be a good opportunity? think before posting good sir.

H3ALTHFR3AK 0

41, ur comment has an annoying tone. also, it is not necessary for you to type out, " I suggest" before you suggest something in the middle of a comment. we'll know who's suggesting it. :) forgive my grammar, this isn't convenient on my phone.

WTSchool 0

Pg11; The whole "kinky sex all night long" got on my nerves. This probably doesn't occur in very many "clean" minds. But this is my opinion only. Maybe a few others'. I respect your opinion too, as it may be right. Who knows? And healthfreak ('cause I'm too lazy to type the numbers), it was a little annoying. That's because this post made me annoyed. Therefore, I'd type something annoying. XD No worries about your grammar - it takes a while to type with viable grammar on mobile devices.

WTSchool 0

Sounds like Ayame01 can't make any passing guesses about my personal life. Like my post says anything about whether or not I get any. You hear me complaining about it? Obviously not. You hear me say anything about myself in that post? Don't think so. Don't assume anything you don't know anything about.

u can still have sex. just not with him.

AAShah 0

LMFAO. I was thinking the same.

smart idea #9

VinegarStrokes 0

Why do you have a picture of your abs set as your profile pic?

erik02gutierrez 0

Why do you have a picture of my abs as your profile picture?

thats love right there xD

_vicky_luv 0

you know you like his idea

KingDingALing 9

Take the hint, OP. What guy would give up the chance to have kinky sex with his wife all night long? I'll tell you what kind of guy would do that, a gay guy. Give him a dildo for Christmas.

allyleigh 0

what is kinky sex? and Dutch oven?!

You are either a terrible troll or someone who should get off their parents computer and stop reading the intimacy section of FML.

maybe the person isn't English ever thought of that ? I don't know what a Dutch oven is either. maybe they haven't heard of these words. think before posting something so stupid that meant to be "funny" ! sorry for my grammar, doing this on my phone.

Hey #76, how about I go and get you a spoon so that you can eat my ass? If you plan to speak English it's highly recommended you go and learn the jargon and slang associated with the language, and if you don't know it yet already you're probably too young for any of this. Now go and perform erotic asphyxiation on yourself (Oh wait, you're too much of a uninformed dumbass to know what that means).

English is one of the hardest languages mostly BECAUSE of all the slang we use so get ur facts straight b4 u run ur mouth

#79 Actually you learn the basics first so you can communicate with others, the slang is just supposed to come to you after you've been living in a different country for a while. Btw I only lived in UK for three years and didn't know any English before. So I guess, I should know better. Oh, and old man you're the one who probably "enjoys" himself by watching porn. So watch your words and seriously calm down. You're acting like I tried to steal from you or something. Maybe you should try anger management classes. Sorry for any mistakes but once again doing this on my phone. And thanks #81 :))

virginiamorning 0

I agree. # 79, you are being terribly rude. I have lived in the United States since the day I was born, and even I had to look up Dutch Ovens on urbandictionary.com. Be kind!