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By TimeForANewJob - 16/01/2017 17:47

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 993

You deserved it 728

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 13:59 - United States - West Covina

Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 151

Whackjobs 'R Us

By Anonymous - 01/11/2020 11:01 - Slovakia - Senec

Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 222

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 214

Happy birthday, huh?

By Jim - 09/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 126

By Queenie - 26/12/2018 14:00

Today, my work's annual Christmas party is at 3:00. Everyone in the office is off work at 2:00, except me and the boss who is staying 'til 4:00. I have been informed the boss is leaving early today to attend the Christmas party, but I need to lock up when I leave at 4:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 12:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 162

You deserved it 507

MY WAIF!

By Bogrbon - 26/01/2022 20:01

Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 120

Sticky situation

By AloneAtPerkins - 26/11/2020 10:58 - United States - West Bend

Today, I drove all the way to another state and dealt with Chicago traffic on the way just to learn to drive stick. I couldn't learn, because the truck was suddenly unavailable, and when it was available again, whoever had it last lost the keys. Guess I gotta make another trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 119

Get over yourself

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 02:00 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, I found out that the man I’ve been dating for four months still isn’t over his ex and that’s why he doesn’t want to make it official between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 132

Polycule avoided

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating again. Not wanting to lose him, I suggested we try opening our relationship and being poly. He flew into a rage and swore I was just trying to think of an excuse to get back at him by screwing a bunch of randos. I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 441

Breaking!

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent an email to my professor requesting an extension for my assignment, using the tired old excuse that my "grandmother died." Instead, I sent it to my grandmother, who then called my dad on my family's landline in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 838

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

Side effects

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 23:01 - Netherlands

Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 194

What?

By IHaveThePower - 21/02/2022 02:00

Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 103

Slob off

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 12:00

Today, my mother guilted me into going with her to have lunch with my eldest brother. He showed up having obviously not showered, with filthy clothes, and the stench of rotten teeth on his breath. She criticises me for every little thing, but makes excuses for him being a jobless slob for 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 97

Pile on

By I miss bread - 14/12/2020 08:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out I'm going to be celebrating New Year's with a gastroscopy and colonoscopy. It's been two days since I discovered I'm gluten intolerant to go with my lactose intolerance. It's also my 28th birthday tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 106

Protective

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 00:01

Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 304

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 222

Cut the apron strings

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at 30 years-old, I can finally move out. I could have chosen an apartment close to work, but instead I decided to stay close to where my mother lives. Since I told her, she's been complaining that I'm selfish and I'm creating a lot of problems for her by moving so far away. I'll be living half a block from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 320

Bloggers gonna blog

By Anonymous - 23/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has an online blog that he updates every time we have sex. It’s ridiculously detailed, right down to the slight difference in the pink of my vagina and the slightly darker pink of my asshole. He's a dead man when he gets home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 215

Anticlimactic

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 351

Iron Chef America

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 19:59

Today, I thought about trying something "new", so I put raspberry preserves and maple syrup on my waffles. It tasted like cough medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 461

Take a seat

By Cutting them off would hurt less than this - 15/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, it's been a year since completely breaking a ligament in my ankle. Since then, my feet have gotten increasingly sensitive, walking or standing for longer than ten minutes feels like I'm being stabbed, and lasts long after I sit down. I work retail and they consistently forget to give me my breaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 116

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 183

English very good

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 16:00

Today, I slept in my parents’ room because there was a mouse in mine. My father speaks English as a second language, and is telling everyone that we’re sleeping with each other. Thankfully I’m old enough for it to just sound gross, not illegal. The last thing we need is a CPS visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 141

Not so cute

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 459

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 06:04

Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 294

By a816090 - 27/05/2019 18:09

Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 169

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The Top

Today, my obnoxious roommate who always blasts crappy music day in and day out as loud as he can has reached an all time low. He has now started blasting Christmas music. It's May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 061

You deserved it 1 783

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 986

You deserved it 7 217

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 030

You deserved it 15 247

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 797

You deserved it 7 350

Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 001

Today, I'm in a situation where I'm in a relationship, but he doesn't talk to me at all. He love-bombed me at first, and now I'm not sure how to even talk to him. I hardly know anything about him. I wanna break up but we got together like two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 614