Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, on my way home from grocery shopping, two young adults around my age came up and asked me for a lighter. Thinking they just needed it to light a cigarette, I handed them my only lighter. They immediately ran away. I got robbed for a 1.99$ lighter. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Maybe it was a sign for you to quit smoking.
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on him! He took the ricin cigarette.
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Comments (134)
CallMeWindSock 24
Maybe it was a sign for you to quit smoking.
CaptinFalconKnig 6
Yeah maybe he was helping you out, knowing that you couldn't find your lighter and have you give him your cigarette.
K410 18
Smokers are jokers!
TheCanucklehead 22
Neither of you make sense
Enslaved 38
"I'm a joker, I'm a smoker I'm a midnight toker I get my lovin' on the run"
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So you're saying because he took her cigarette, it's a sign to quit? That'd be like me kicking you in the balls and saying it's a sign to get a vasectomy. Just ******* stupid.
Roskie 16
You're just ******* stupid. It was a joke.
football98_fml 20
is this post actually on FML? fyl just because u lost 1 cigarette that could kill u?
HiImNew 3
inb4 ydi for smoking comments
mattjamt 16
Ohhh, so close!
Axipiter 24
Flash some lights and play some tones associated with each light. Maybe it's friendly.
Catkam623 27
Does it come in peace and if so should we cut it to pieces?
SrakaSrakasta 20
Oh my god guys! You are so FUNNY! XD
FMLkoala 28
Why all the thumbs down? She did deserve it for smoking!
ottokat 15
@111: shut up. @124: they made the mistake of using the inb4/prepare yourself joke.
barlessprison 16
Oh come on. It isn't the end of the world.
Pwn17 25
What a terrible thing to happen! You lost a whole cigarette! And here I thought life couldn't get any worse...
giorgi0202 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he did, you a favor, but still, that's not right.
golden_warrior 23
If she is an adult and smoking at the designated location then you shouldn't complain. Everyone has flaws
PhilSnake22 13
He didn't do her a favour, he took one of her cigarettes, it's not like she's going to stop smoking because of that. She's just going to buy more.
kinky44 28
Everyone has flaws doesn't mean you shouldn't work on resolving those flaws. Nobody should smoke, even if they're in the "designated area", because it harms you.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I think anyone that smokes knows it will harm them. You know that eating food could cause you to choke, you know driving a car could cause you to wreck, you even know that exercising can tear your muscles. But you still do those things, right? Smoking is bad, yes, but so are a million other things people choose to do, because they have that choice.
threer 30
Notice that those examples are all necessities of life, #73..
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You don't need to drive, nor do you need to exercise. One makes your life better and the other makes it easier. But you don't need either to survive, pal.
Schizomaniac 24
Comparing choosing to eat food to choosing to smoke. Hmmm...
vipirius 18
73. All those examples have a very very slim chance of actually harming you, but smoking is 100% without a doubt harmful. That's the difference.
LuckBeNimble 19
101: lolwut? driving accidents is one of the leading causes of death. I wouldn't call tens of thousands of deaths "slim." not saying tobacco is harmless though.
Poppipuff 14
105- The number of deaths associated with smoking is way higher. Same goes for alcohol and that kind of things that slowly kill you.
Ins0mau 20
Every single cigarette does your body damage. Can't say that about every car trip.
woainishamu 21
I guess he really needed that nicotine fix blazing fast.
Uramonkey 11
420 blaze it faggots
woainishamu 21
Now I'm curious about what you said.
flashback.miss 28
he did you a favour, but you did give him a lit cigarette. :)
flashback.miss 28
** as you said he was in a hurry, so what could you expect otherwise. >>''
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
not sure why youre getting thumbed down.. you made a valid point.
vipirius 18
Probably because he didn't do her a favor?
junkman6 22
@ 6 there is a maneuver called "monkey *******" where you light and unlit cigarette with a lit cigarette. I know it's a bit of an advanced smoking technique so obviously he just didn't know.
LordoftheOcelots 10
I guess he had somewhere to be by 4:20
katnissmellark_fml 15
not sure why all the females are getting thumbed down in this particular thread....
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Could have stolen your purse.
HowieDoIt 21
You couldn't have said anything to stop him? It's not like he mugged you at gunpoint. Either way, it's one cigarette which you probably already got a pretty good use of.
Enslaved 38
Probably shocked. Besides, once it's in the other guy's mouth, I doubt she'd want it back. :P
JamieBue38 5
look on the bright side OP, at least he didn't mug you for not having a light...