Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, on my way home from grocery shopping, two young adults around my age came up and asked me for a lighter. Thinking they just needed it to light a cigarette, I handed them my only lighter. They immediately ran away. I got robbed for a 1.99$ lighter. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Maybe it was a sign for you to quit smoking.
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on him! He took the ricin cigarette.
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Comments (134)
Milotiiic 9
Goddamn! You beat me to that reply! I can't stand all the self righteous c***s on this site that always have to have a dig at smokers whenever a smoking related FML comes up!
SaintJimmy21 19
well, duh, he WAS in a hurry...! ;)
JustNatalie 8
He's helping you to stop smoking :)
r0cks0 6
While odd it doesnt qualify as a FML
ingram450 3
don't smoke you dumbass you should be happy 1 hour off his life rather than yours
DWynter 11
Why would you do that?! Why would he take it?! Doesn't anyone understand the concept of germs?!
justwhatever1234 5
Maybe that's a sign, the universe telling to that you need to stop. Besides, it's not a big deal. You have more, correct?
Afroman720 18
Sounds like someone did you a favor!
tolkien897 15
Maybe that's a sign to stop wasting money on a substance that does nothing but make you want more and gives you cancer.