Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML
Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
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Top comments
marcranger 29
You might be married to the wrong guy.
06dopey 8
Not gonna lie, that blows
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Comments (117)
06dopey 8
Not gonna lie, that blows
ncsteven10101010 11
not gonna lie, so does your comment.
bestnameright 14
It's not that bad.
buck33 14
Not gonna lie, that burrito I ate last night isn't sitting well.
aJaguarinRed 9
Not gonna lie, fast food should be called gut lube.
bestnameright 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
17- not gonna lie after reading your comment and eating I wanna throw up.
kyarush 10
Looks like you might have made the wrong decision
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Not gonna lie, I hate bacon. ...... Guess what? I LIED!
klovemachine 24
Not gonna lie. This comment thread is funny XD
deathhill3 40
Not gonna lie, I think a trend is forming.
bestnameright 14
Not gonna lie STOP SAYING NOT GONNA LIE!
RvidxrKlvn 8
Not gonna lie, i'm 50 Tyson.
BulldogHoops 14
Not gonna lie. The above statement is false.
wickedninja918 1
not gonna lie, just letting you know
sadistmonkey 19
Not gonna lie. Combo breaker.
TwiztedYuri 9
Not gonna lie djdkkkkkkkkduhhdhhhhvvvvvvsgda I love my cat
Church_Vii 4
I am gonna lie.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Rick Astley wouldn't.
klovemachine 24
Not gonna lie. Still funny :)
tsent8 15
Not gonna lie I want in on this thread.
noahf0108 5
Not gonna lie so I'm standing up
marcranger 29
You might be married to the wrong guy.
Inheritance 10
If OP isn't to late she can can make a wish to have her ex back.
obnum 19
Well c'mon, there's gotta be more to it than remembering birthdays right? Lol I barely remember anyone's birthday ;)
happle 21
I remember my boyfriend's, friends', ex boyfriend's, and my family's birthday. They're kind of important.
SystemofaBlink41 27
20- I don't think it goes to the point of divorce... I mean, it sucks that he didn't remember, but it's a bit too harsh.. Imagine if all that a woman looked for in a man was "date-rememberence"... "Oh my god, Dave remembered today was monster-weenie monday... *pictures Dave marrying her*"
wickedninja918 1
42- you don't say
dead247 13
56. you mean they aren't?! I must be living under a rock.
BingleBop 18
Ouch, that's rough OP. If it helps then some people are just bad at remembering dates :)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Truthfully, I suck at remembering things... But even I make the effort to remember the birthday of someone special to me...
BingleBop 18
Yeah, but it's has been 17 years and I still can't remember my parents' or my brother's birthdates. I can remember my cat's though!
CammyGal 26
Guys are terrible with birthdays. Just because he forgot doesn't make him a bad guy. Your ex-husband is an 'ex' for a reason :)
viper64 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It is OP's current husband who forgot it was her birthday. Not her ex. Please read more carefully. Not all males are the same. Thank you.
SadGirl18 16
My boyfriend remembers my birthday. So yeah.
goose12321 11
.
goose12321 11
14- that's what she was saying. When she said just cause he forgot, she was referring to the current husband, and then added that the ex (even though he remembered and the current didn't) was an ex for a reason. She didn't mean that the ex forgot and is now why he's an ex.
Schizomaniac 24
14- *repeats what everyone else said* Quick, someone else come point out 14's mistake. 3 times isn't enough!
lilhellian 27
Gladly 36. *points out 14s mistake and laughs.* :)
klovemachine 24
Ouch! Need some cream for that BURN 14 :D
Zomg_Okay 27
36 - Well, alright. If you insist. 14, before you tell people to read more carefully, might I suggest you do the same?
DontClickOnMe 28
Maybe your husband is pretending he doesn't remember and actually has a surprise for you later today. Happy Birthday, OP! =)
MidnaLink 35
If that's true, then how would the husband have gotten the ex's phone away to text her happy birthday?
Metallica36176 16
Although I appreciate the fact that you like Zelda....what the hell did you just say?
wickedninja918 1
Mabie her ex husband was just saying happy birthday? idk just a thought
starbunnytwinkle 3
Good god, midnalink, you need to work on your reading and comprehension skills.
gribbles 12
Midnight birthday texts are overrated. Either your husband was awake with you, or y'all were both asleep. Either way...
onlychildFTW 34
Zelda is stupid.
flyskya 1
I will rip your balls out and stuff them down your throat if i hear that kind of talk from you again good sir!
windfuelsfire 10
Happy birthday :)
djgoreo 12
DUMP
kayaker83 4
You cant just dump a husband for forgetting a bday. I'm guessing you're not married.
MelTheGreat 23
I think by saying "dump", they were referring to pooping.
sugarshane007 20
Oh, didn't take long for one of the Dump Him/Her clan to show up. I'm surprised y'all didn't hit before the 5th comment!
djgoreo 12
I was satirizing the dump-clan. Many times people comment saying to dump for some trivial thing. I'm making fun of the stereotypical "dump her" or "dump him" comment on any FML including harm done by a significant other.
Teyros 24
Happy birthday OP. Hopefully he remembers your anniversary..? :(
Teyros 24
No?
kayaker83 4
See if your husband remembers.... If not tell him there was someone who did. That'll get his attention
glki 7
Still loves you anyway.......