Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML
Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
marcranger 29
You might be married to the wrong guy.
06dopey 8
Not gonna lie, that blows
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
lsdecaria1 5
No birthday sex for you
danial1214 21
You should "forget" his birthday and refuse him birthday sex
gabbygabby1997 0
Should've stayed with the other guy then...
BlowinChronic 18
I'm sure there was a reason for OP's divorce with her ex-husband.
carminecris89 13
If he forgot then you need to tell him. It really sucks but being holding it against him while not saying something about it does you no good at all. It still sucks but you need to let him know. While its not really any consolation it's nice your ex and you are on good enough terms to wish you happy birthday.
FlyingPie 17
How do you tell when you're in the wrong relationship? When it's your ex who remembers your birthday.
ICastillo 25
Well Op that's shitty of your current husband to forget, but at least someone remembers you.
happylawyer 16
Oh, you forgot to advice against kissing in public to avoid the rubish.
noncom 12
You bitch, you stole my birthday.
challan 19
Happy birthday!!
crazytwinsmom 25
The first time the husband of someone I know forgot her bday, she bought herself $1000 earrings. Her did not forget again! The ex has probably known OP longer so is more likely to remember than a new husband. But still.
Axipiter 24
I don't know if I'll ever understand how some women's form of "revenge" is to go out and spend their husband's money on shopping sprees... Wouldn't that money be better used towards keeping up with bills and everyday expenses!?
theBadGuy37 9
The first time my wife goes out and spends $1000 of my money on something stupid will be ever first time I slap a bitch.
crazytwinsmom 25
They had it to burn but it was still memorable in it's point being made. He hadn't gotten her anything so she had a right to get herself a present. I personally wouldn't have spent that much, more like $200.
crazytwinsmom 25
And it's not necessarily his money, she worked too! I work as well, so it wouldn't be my hubby's money either.
carminecris89 13
30 That is some real vicious passive aggressive behavior. That's not an okay thing to do. It sucks that he forgot but to go out and drop a grand on earrings just to make a point is gross. It's worse than him forgetting and it's pretty malicious.
crazytwinsmom 25
Really?! Maybe you didn't see my subsequent notes. Her money, she deserves a bday present, they could definitely afford even more than that. And some men are still like kids, they need it to be memorable to remember next time.
KiddNYC1O 22
Why would your ex husband be texting you at midnight? Then again, it was Friday. So I guess it was okay...