Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
Liveurlife123 0
aww! well good luck anyway!
NYC_Yoshi 3
next comes blumpkins
shannonreneee 11
Lets hope you two don't make that into a couple activity...
TurnpikeTwister 0
Better get familiar with it, that's marriage.
DoubleRainbows 1
"In shitness and in health."
ShakeMeDown 12
shit happens
llCHR15ll 0
I don't see what's so gross about this. a maturing woman bleeds from her ****** every month and us men don't complain. I'm gonna say what my boss used to say to me: "just deal with it!!"
chuymac 3
and they smell funny too.
DjeePee 25
It's so funny that you compared a daily shit with a monthly period, and the 'we men don't complain' is even more funnier, I almost laughed with that. See if you're about to complain if we refresh our bloody, stinky tampon in front of your noses, because that's just gross. ******** with the door open, revealing all your nice sounds and smells to your spouse is also just gross. At least, that's my opinion.
kosherkraut 5
35-True, but most women don't change their tampon with the door open. Just because it happens doesn't mean people want to see it.
llCHR15ll 0
ok I don't have a witty comeback for both your comments. I will just accept that I have been silenced by the woman who has a fear of being gassed and the crazy cat lady. good day.
NYC_Yoshi 3
bloody tampons, loud smelly *****... who cares? we're all dirty humans, and if you're not comfortable enough to shit in front of your significant other, you're still worried about them judging you (which extends to other parts of the relationship).
kosherkraut 5
47- oooooh. burnnnnn. 56- its not that I'm worried about being judged, its that I have enough respect to not subject my boyfriend to watching me pull a bloody tampon out of my vag. He also has enough respect not to subject me to his disgusting smelling shit.
KaanTech 0
hmm love fools
ronnie96259 0
hey in the showers I pee on my wife
natirixoxo 0
maybe he thinks it's ok because you're the type of girl who used words like shit?
Aim4thebullseye 4
that's a shitty situation
Mitcha857 0
94, please.. just... no
Miq94 0
your hot
FMLidiot 12
fetish ftw
SiraSiemens 21
your current profile pic fits this perfectly xD
MikalaHart 4
At least he's comfortable enough to do that in front of you... haha
iSitt 0
and then the Dutch oven.
Kypopz 9
34, you stole my comment.
Big_Red_138 3
He's no shy shitter
kingtz 6
I would say that op should try doing the same thing to the husband, but girls don't poop.
sxe_beast 11
.
Lucidium 0
God, 80. How sad can you be? A stupid little puppy photo now a dumb comment.
ganksta_ikm 1
I'm pretty sure he was kidding
Flutist 3
That dog is cuter than you will ever be. I am sure when the dog goes up to attractive people they don't run away. :)
stefluvsyou 4
lucky you. my boyfriend already does that.
mikolyshka 0
he's got to air out the bathroom. do you want a smelly bathroom?
MrSassypants 34
Well atleast he doesn't get too disgusting and tell you "I'm bored come sit on my lap."
ggarc27 0
Hahahha ^^
leebee96 0
your 15 and your boyfriend ***** in front of you?
illmatic2 16
And you wouldn't let him do that before? You're an asshole.
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
thebestof1984 0
*thing
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
whiteboy7thst 2
What about my shit?
XZeenon 1
55 - Your shit is still your shit. Btw, are you the commentator on YouTube who plays cod, etc.?
unhappybitch 8
I was thinking the same thing, I don't think it's him though.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Its his house, he should be able to shit with the door open if he wants.
Senseisparky 0
What a filthy fu¢k! Haha!
A7X_LoVeee 10
You don't poop?
smellymellyy 7
not with the door open..
TessIsabella 0
Embrace it, he's being homely. Aaah love.
vaxc 17
yes let me enjoy the smell of shit
Winter247 2
If you can't learn to love a man's shit, you don't really love him.
incrediblekarma 3
#12 Ah, there's a Bukowski poem on that subject.