Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Its his house, he should be able to shit with the door open if he wants.
llCHR15ll 0
Hmmmm, I must have missed that bit out? oh well
tencalories 3
what do you mean I saw it we should make this onto a book
aardvarkish 17
I'm with 17 on this one.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I like cats
alexf602 0
me to jk i like dogs
incrediblekarma 3
Aw, I would thumbs up Alan's message if I could.
lulututu 4
They're married. Its their house idiot
enonymous 9
Only an hour into marriage and you're already saying he's wrong. congrats and welcome to marriage.
dreamnitedarling 9
especially since OP apparently hoped marriage would "change things". YDI, op, YDI.
MrXerxes5 6
omg you got the raw end of the deal. everyone's supposed to gett rainbow poo after they're married. that way when they poo it smells like flowers. it works like those glade scented candles or whatever
llCHR15ll 0
this doesn't happen. stop trying to be funny. mr. fail
deaper 16
Actually... I thought it was pretty funny… Mr. Asshole.
sammybabe 0
hahahahaha
alexf602 0
i didnt mr.smartass
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
silly women they think grdgdjjjdjjf means something in the modern world
rbubbles 20
talk to him about it and stop having a sook, you're newlyweds so I suggest communication otherwise will be reading another fml by you next year saying you're divorced.
sparkjolt 10
I'm not sure what you were thinking marriage is about, but if you think people suddenly change from a gold band on their finger, I think you've seen one too many chick flicks. The age old saying; A woman marries a man expecting him to change, a man marries a woman expecting nothing to change.
alexf602 0
wow
Terezi 0
Are you sure this is an FML? All I'm reading is "Waaaah, my husband's not perfect like I expected him to be!" Seriously, if you can't handle this, I'd hate to see you have children. What will you do when it comes time to change diapers?
dianalyssa 0
my boyfriend does that and we're not married yet. I know how you feel!
Azzze 2
ladies: MEN DON'T CHANGE!! And just because you have a baby with him or marry him, he will still be the same disgusting fart you fell in love with. PERIOD
IbanezSprinter 0
haha :)
Rape_Laser 0
like it should be!