Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
sydneytay 0
wow...
HomeAl0ne 20
Ah, brings back memories of my own honeymoon.
feanor15 0
wow your HUSBAND and you got married??!? :o
Nilsen21 0
sounds like a good man to me!!
angrymexican 8
isn't it?
bubo_fml 11
I give it 1/2 a week before he wanks off in your face!
Brownstonius 0
It is ALWAYS ok to shit with the door open INCLUDING restaurants, funeral homes, and especially the port-a-john in front of that house in your neighborhood that's being built. You know, the one with all the mexicans working on it? yea, that one. You know that reminds me of a time I was driving by that little hole-in-the-wall diner/dairy bar type place, you know the one I mean, right? Yea the one with the extremely greasy burgers but the awesomest milk shakes. Anyway yea I driving by there because my dumb-ass girlfriend left her purse at my place and needed me to bring it to her at work because she was having her period and needed a tampon. What is up with every woman keeping them in that little side-pocket zippery thing in there? I mean every woman I've ever known keeps it in there. Anyway as I was driving by that place I seen a Mexican guy with the biggest damn head and when he turned around and I saw his face I was like "holy crap, was that George Lopez"? But yea, anyway I think it's cool to take a dump anywhere you please AND that it is always good if you like pooping with the door open! No harm can ever come of this.
heyred 11
It's not??
chelspm 5
If you loved him enough to marry him, it shouldn't be a big deal.
mylifepwnz 0
SOME PEOPLE ARE SO UNGRATEFUL!!!!!!!! you got married!!!!! be happy, not post on FML!!!!!!