Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
wazzup182FML 3
hope you have fun!
jobsman99 0
it only gets better.
puppiesandrainbo 1
and now you can have sex! :D
miri2224 0
lmafo wow that sucks lol
somber_star 9
Really, what did you expect to change? YDI for assuming you'd never run into that kind of thing now that you're married. Would you not have married him if you knew he pooped with the door open? Honestly, now. If it really bothers you that much, make a point of closing the door for him every time. He'll probably get the hint.
katybaker 0
hey us texans like to have a nice breeze while we are taking a shit. what's the problem??
shootintacos 0
grammar Nazi bait: he'll yes
nubx 0
Us grammar Nazis got our work cut out for us yall
annvu 0
he does that because he's comfortable around you.. nothing wrong here OP. :)
mbrooks5110 0
ummm shut it. it's not like he can get up to open it. or puke in his lap or invite people over next few times he does it. that would turn me off if my husband started doing that less sex for him keep him keeping the door shut.
mistified16 0
Well, why don't you try being more classy if you want him to treat you like a lady. Perhaps instead of saying, "to shit" you could start with "to use the restroom." You get treated how you want, if you don't talk like/act like a lady don't expect to be treated like one.
Tomcat99_fml 3
I'm sure the BJ's came to a screeching halt too... both seem to come with the territory...