Santa
Canada
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
mallcop
United States
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
tishihish
United States
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
unknown
Canada
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
perenoel
France
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
childdreamkiller
Canada
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Loola
France
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
ww2freak
Centreville, United States
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Top comments
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (224)
ThaBeasty01 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
shit happens .
Mendara_fml 0
I was really hoping someone besides me would have noticed how much a relief this post was rather than "I saw a mall Santa doing X or Y and it ruined my little sibling/child's life".
nalia18 8
What? She was just givinh santa some christmas fudge...
enonymous 9
Well it's rude if you don't let her wipe with your beard.
Damn_Hippster 11
"for Christmas I would like a healthy bowel movement"
Meowingtons500 18
All I want for Christmas, is poo. Poo ooo babyy! :D
changesinme 0
It's tough being Santa, sometimes you have to literally take crap from kids
angrymexican 8
She was giving you a big warm seasons greetings.
theduff 0
That ho!
baseball6917 8
"I bet no one has ever given Santa a present..."
midnightxloner 1
72- what do you think the cookies and milk are for :3?
Tommananaze6T9 4
Thats to make up for all the evil things u mall santas have been doing to people this holiday season
sExxicHiCky123 0
Some ones going on the naughty list.
FarSide 23
"That's for not bringing me jack shit last year."
eili_fml 0
Tis the season eh?
umm_Talk 9
Christmas bonus.
xoconnie 8
well she was wearing pants... i hope... so it couldnt have been that bad! how did it seap through all those layers?????! thats sick!
austin_elise9 3
hahaha thats a good en'
foreveraloneXC 10
That stinks
ihasbrains 10
You're not Santa. You smell like beef and shit!
Pandakins12 0
Oh, how clever
kayomi 1
Your nasty
Blacksabbath211 9
Puts on sunglasses What a shitty situation;) No? Okay then, *sits back down
uniongirl02 0
Merry Christmas?
catseventhst 0
Duke nukem ?
Jonkbaby 23
i hope OP's not into this kind of thing
hinchkongfang 0
Have a shitty Christmas, OP
ImFrackinBored 13
3 comments, 3 shitty puns.... Four....
paulie1998 0
Anal secks luv liberal federalists july mr menses you idiot!!!!!
SebastianG 2
This comment annoys the hell out of me OH hahaha you made a pun... Someone is gonna have a lonely life ;)
lilmissdangerous 9
Well ain't that shitty
SillyFart 7
Well ain't that a shitty comment
ScaughtieHolden 11
And quite witty, just not funny..
blue_mist 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It was funny the first time.
TherealMort 0
That's your present from her
IndigoAcrylic 9
BAHAHAHA ;D Puns are fun ^^
rexgar2000 10
he's shit out of luck.
Beeftinkle 13
That's what u get for never bringin them wat they want. They finaly decided to strike bak
danomite11 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well thats shitty...
KiddNYC1O 22
Chill. PM them if it bothers you that much.
uprising_fml 0
well your comment was unnecessary .
bitchslapped22 14
What makes him a jerk?
gregorrok1 0
Dirty Santa...
graham11 14
This was the most original comment I've ever seen!! NOT. Won't people ever learn??
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
zombicidal 11
who says it wasn't?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
I think OP would have mentioned it if it was.
Llama_Face89 34
**** the Oilers!!! GO HABS!!! Sorry...
pie29302930 0
**** the Habs and Oilers. Go Sabres!!!!!
CalCommando 6
She left you some coal because you were naughty...
ohSNAPyall 27
Yes. Jeff Goldblum taught me this.
skittihorse 8
The oilers are beast
Awesomehobo44 3
YAAAAAAAA BUDDY GO OILERS!
proski 0
That's a shitty situation.
SillyFart 7
That's a shitty situation.
japtch 15
That's a shitty situation.
rachellooo 0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I bet Santa was like: HO HO HO and what would you like for Chris- wait WHAT the FUUU... Merry christmas, NEXT!
graham11 14
I guarantee the next person who says "that's a shitty situation" will get their comment buried. Just a guess..
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
supersmeg12345 10
Well of course you muppet it's a shitty FML
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Muppet?
AnnaMarieGoodson 3
Lmao, and your picture is a nasty ass pad.
FarSide 23
You were expecting comments about candy canes??
leogirl95 12
Well, they wouldn't be about raw, bloody, itchy armpits...
bigAC 6
Aannnd here come the puns...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
OP it's a christmas miracle! :D
Spinnmaster 1
I could have sworn someone saying something bout Santa having a boner in a girls lap
PSQ91 6
Wait what? No pants or panties?
purpleheartzz 5
I thought the same thing !?
Androidz 0
Maybe op is Jerry Sandusky.
shanemaximo 7
No no 85, he said "little girl."
Androidz 0
I see. I see. I shall now bend over and spread my ass cheeks for the thumbs down.
KiddNYC1O 22
Guys, think about the stench and the moistness.
Androidz 0
93 are we still talking about shit?
KiddNYC1O 22
Excrement, yes.
Awesomehobo44 3
Haha ya that's what I thought when I read this!
thinkucandance 0
Such original comments!!!:D
FYLDeep 26
Did she ask for some toilet paper for Christmas?