Santa
Canada
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
mallcop
United States
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
tishihish
United States
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
unknown
Canada
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
perenoel
France
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
childdreamkiller
Canada
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Loola
France
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
ww2freak
Centreville, United States
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Top comments
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (224)
Wangan_Warrior 9
"You're not the real Santa, take this you imposter" The little girl ftw!!! :)
maninthebox11 8
But she was little! How did she know?!?! Was it a druggie?!?Damn druggies ruining little kids fantasies..
Eiregal2 10
Now in Ireland and other places it would seem kids are not aloud on santa's lap no more!
Wangan_Warrior 9
Too many pedo Santa's in Ireland apparently lol.
Eiregal2 10
Lol yup, good ole raunchy st. Nick heh
skizza_fml 3
It's getting the same in Australia too, no more sitting on santa's lap, must be able to see both of santa's hands, santa's no longer allowed to say ho ho ho, must insult prostitutes or something I guess
ispt3ch 2
That would be "any" more :)
OhHaiix3 2
That's her gift to you.
williamh327 5
language please!!!!! this is probably why she pooped on u phony...
pickles2b2 4
someone's getting coal in her stocking!
hollyman 0
That's a shitty situation...
Linkerdoodles 15
Enough with the puns…
MelTheGreat 23
yummy
BigSlingin 0
Did you accidentally push her off your lap after? Haha
bitchplease123ka 0
Yeah well my little brother peed on my lap and we has to sit like that for 1hr
iloveweed69 7
what a shitty day
blackbelt25 12
No. Just no.