Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Top comments
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (224)
ExToRtiOn 0
How much did you get paid?
bubo_fml 11
Sorry Santa...Not only does a girl shit in your lap, but in 2 weeks, you have to spend an entire night looking up 8 reindeer's asses!
JukeboxValkyrie 19
She was just giving you her version of coal for the holidays because of the shitty present you gave her last year. =P
SoNotForYou 5
Hope she was wearing a diaper!
claiiire_fml 17
YDI for not being the real Santa.
ScubaSteve96 0
That's a shitty job! Haha. Ah, go ahead thumbs down I don't care.
catherineepie 1
That's sooo nasty and I definately read that while taking a shit
21jason 9
Wait a minute! Your santa your suppose to be giving her the "coal"
TonyIsMyDog 2
It's You're not your. Did you skip English class your entire life?
emma_clark724 1
Shitted on...
ilovechrissy14 0
Sucks to be you on that day