Santa
Canada
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
mallcop
United States
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
tishihish
United States
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
unknown
Canada
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
perenoel
France
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
childdreamkiller
Canada
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Loola
France
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
ww2freak
Centreville, United States
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Top comments
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (224)
CuteDumBlonde64 11
So many SHIT comments. MY BRIAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!
Braginskyyy 6
Who's this Brian guy?
THE_A_TEEN 28
CuteDumBlonde64 is Brian Griffins dumb blond girlfriend, Jillian.
flockz 20
i feel sorry for brian :(
thatKidzmOm 10
Did you at least clean up the mess after he exploded? Poor guy... 0_o
Rainchikmoo 6
Well santa, you do attend to the needs of children...
perdix 31
And THAT'S why you close the door when you take a shit, Santa! Karma is working fast these days -- comeuppance in less than 24 hours or your next reincarnation is free.
FarSide 23
ROFLMAO! 98% won't get it.
heyyy464 1
Naughty list?
bluechevy101 0
Ha
nickelyeti 0
n merry christmas to u too little girl!
RuCheezBurger 10
...Ho ho ho...
Emmysmiles 2
that's what you get for lying to little kids about being santa
THE_A_TEEN 28
Really? He deserves to get shit on him because he has a job bringing joy to kids? Buzzkill...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Anyone who types unoriginal puns involving defecation will promply get assassinated by me and any FML staff member who volunteers for this.
1bluesky1 6
She needs to get potty trained for Christmas.