Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
Top comments
forthepainx3 0
and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.
_streets_ 19
Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Comments (224)
cetlawizard 15
Kids will go potty in strangest places....&/or maybe you somehow "scared the shit out of her"???....sorry about the shit pun...I'd rather be shat on by a little girl while posing as Santa than pissed on by a 12 year old when you're 15 because he thought it'd be funny. Talk about being pissed on & off @ the same time ..oh the 80's sucked.
ripon 0
Talk about a crappy day
Takainthemachine 0
She was telling you she doesn't believe in Santa!!
buster109 3
Santa wouldn't mind!
zuzupetalsYO 11
that's what you get for not being real
Icecream93 4
She got nervous
Zoranius 6
Well, that's NOT shitty but really disgusting!!
kareltje 17
That's the risk you take when you play Santa ;)
blacksswan 10
Poor girl , I have heard of stories where kids cry out of fear when seeing santa but never heard of someone ******** on a santa out of fear. You scared her really bad :I
taintedayush 0
That akward moment