Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
That's bloody awful
markuskind 7
Hero!
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Comments (92)
markuskind 7
Hero!
RoperGirl203 9
Are there other anime geeks on here? They'll find this funny. Lol
TwiztedYuri 9
Jr was plugging one hole and it started to come out of the other side :p he did the best he could.... you could have bled out OP
tjv3 10
Wow talk about caring right there. What a douche
mclauren29 22
That's bloody awful
KaeporaGaebora 4
Ain't nobody got time for dat.
dinorider_fml 4
2- everyone nose that it snot that bad
JerryH 9
Please dont try to make puns 33 you're absolutely terrible at it
dinorider_fml 4
36- isn't that the point of puns?
HiIAmKevin 8
36- obviously he's not terrible at it. His "terrible pun" has more likes than your comment...
ThePK 5
Obviously he was just trying to make her blood rush somewhere else other than her nose. It's common knowledge, first grade stuff like Wumbo.
TheMaster15 10
36- 33 made some pretty good puns, relative to others I've seen. Don't be an asshat.
Codezlol 21
That's when you grab his nicest shirt and use it as a bloody nose rag!
Grauncho 27
Like a boss.
NeDaroft 5
No, that's weird af.
RaggleFrock 13
Indeed, he literally ****** her till her nose bled and carried on.
HortonThelephant 15
Who nose why OP's boyfriend is such a tool? Anyone?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Your desperation has ruined your pun.
ThomasAZ 3
I thought it was funny...
gc327072 31
5- FAIL! Since you're a Dr Seuss character, you must now comment in a Seuss-esque fashion.
sniken 14
That is bloody awful. But it gives a new perspective to "firetruck".
wellfuuucckme 7
That hasn't been used already ..
ALlamaOnFire 20
Firetruck? Am I being dim or does this make no sense?:')
mcBe 6
No get it cause blood is red and fire trucks are too and so is fire and apples, apparently they are all related now
wickedninja918 1
The thumbs down button is red too, I guess thats why he got thumbs downed so much (well that and the fact that what he said was already said)
sniken 14
Yup, left the phone idle before I wrote it, so I didn't see the post above beforehand. So, apologies for double post.
SakeGurl 9
Fire truck is a game, it's when you put your hand on someone's leg and tell them to say 'red light' when they get uncomfortable. You trail your hand up and when they say 'red light' you say 'fire trucks don't stop for anything'. We used to play it at school.
heyheywaddup 7
Woooow such a tool!
SDTD10 5
Woooow such a comment!
Airman1988 9
And they said chivalry is dead, now that's a real gentlemen!
pdp_fml 21
Your boyfriend must have been very horny not to stop or your are extremely hot!
spaboolly 26
Or he's just a selfish jackass.
YUNOFML 16
"your are"? Seriously?
lsdecaria1 5
What a trooper you are to keep going.