Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
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Comments (86)
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Nekogami 14
It's not just you. Rofl
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
alliewillie 22
Better a knee in his face than in his fiddlestick.
BostonBruinsFan 8
If you hate everything, why do u like this? Just asking...
kyarush 10
You like it rough? Giggity
s0m3guy2010 21
Maybe I'm just being stupid, but how did you knee him in the face if his face was past your knee?
Llamacod 11
Yea, you're just being stupid
ToeJams 0
Since when is a girls ****** past her knee?
Llamacod 11
She jerked her leg and brought her knee into his face
theaws0m3guy 4
The mere fact she's calling it a diddle stick tells me she's not ready.
Darkruler 5
That's all I'm going to call it now.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
My friend's last name is Diddlestick. He jerks off constantly so it's perfect.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Pretty open friendship you've got there.
Zimmington 21
59- Yea um, how would you know that??
HaykamNation 8
XD oh yes lul
Matty1188 6
Which is why I said she deserved it.
vol4life 6
Diddlestick Hahahahaha
theblackishkid1 6
Feared, I love you lol
hannahkrane 1
Absolutely my new favorite word lol "diddlestick"
J_Shorty_17 6
LoL reference? <3 I sometimes wonder how mature most of these posters are when they start naming genitalia, plumbing and their "business" ridiculous names like this lol
1crabbygirl 10
diddlestick
DollFacePsycho 0
Agreed.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
65-we are roommates in college. Lucky me, I would get John Diddlestick-the guy who fiddles with his diddle daily- as my roommate.
HeartOfLead 24
What makes my day(umm night...) is how he going to explain his beat mug to his friends. OP's boyfriend's friend: Dude, what happened? OP's boyfriend: Uh, let's say the going got rough and leave it at that.
fugazeeb 0
u should have SUCKED his diddlestick instead if just fondle it! bet he woulda forgave u then!
dazzle_me_lovely 9
lolololololololol
livefree_drf 0
.. You need some new friends .
hhvamp3 0
Ahahahaha, it sure made mine.
masterofflight 8
it sounds just like..."littlestick"...
fangcutiepie 9
The words 'fondling his diddlestick' omg xD
DarkSeekerX94446 14
Wow, that really sucks, if I were you, I'd get him a doctor.
Llamacod 11
To fiddle with his diddlestick? What good would that do?
Llamacod 11
Thank you
DarkSeekerX94446 14
I meant about his bloody nose and swollen eye. D:
Marcelb 17
100 - No shit Sherlock
CRC_101 31
Really? Have you never experienced minor injuries, if one can even call them that, before? Neither a simple bloody nose nor a swollen eye are reasons to visit a doctor. Give it some time, gentle care, and ice if you prefer, and the swelling will go down. As for the bloody nose, noses bleed quite easily; you shouldn't visit the doctor for it. By the time you get there, it'll likely be over. The only likely reason he should visit the doctor is if his nose is broken in any way, which would be pretty obvious from the start. This is one of the many reasons doctors don't take enough time for their patients - we have idiots who go to the doctor for these "issues." Many athletes and people who play life rough experience these things a lot. Don't overreact to it. Doesn't mean you can't treat it nicely, but don't waste your time and quite possibly your money with going to a doctor about a case like this. There are exceptions, but knees to the face happen often, and unless there are more significant complications, save yourself!
beccaishereyay 11
Yeah tell that to the people who have gotten hit in the face or head, didn't go to the doctor and developed a brain hemorrhage. Or those who had a concussion and went into a coma from "not overreacting".
CRC_101 31
137 - Well, you're definitely right there. Sorry. It is better safe than sorry, and I'm not remotely saying this for most head injuries. In fact, I was just referring to the swelling and bloody nose. I was a bit overreactive, actually. It just suddenly surprised me how often the "go to a doctor" comments come up in an FML.
vhivfe 3
Diddlestick?
gloopyone 4
Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your diddlestick.
ghostlilac 25
^ Don't be that guy. :P
ladyLALAA 29
31, beat me to it! 2 thumbs up :)
HeartOfLead 24
It's from Ireland.
HeartOfLead 24
Did you not know that is what the Gameboy 'DS' was named after?
Crazberry 5
Lmao diddlestick... Don't worry too much about it, you guys will laugh about it later :)
MyNameIsViet 15
Yea they'll probably laugh at his bloody nose and swollen eye too.
Yousuck24 21
Favourited for using the term 'diddlestick.'
hawkey126 0
Comment thumbed up for spelling the British way.
forgotmyabcs 1
Comment thumbed up for awesome avvy!
RussianFox 13
Comment thumbed up for Pinkie Pie pic.
Pegasister_fml 5
I also thumbed up for Pinkie Pie! Go Pinkie Pie!! :D
DKjazz 20
I thumbed you up because everyone else was doing it and I just wanted to fit in.
Sonalis 9
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
greeneyedpothead 10
Just tell him this was accidental payback for that time he accidentally cumed in your eye :-)
boundbytheanimus 9
That's the worst smiley. It's so passive aggressive.
PInK_ExCiTeD 7
Dafaq? :)
natashax21 5
I'll never say fiddlesticks the same way again
high_tower87 9
It's diddlestick....
CaptFartGiggle 10
It's a league of legends thing.
grog_fml 3
I wouldn't forgive you if you called it a "diddlestick" either...
sarahbear430 0
Ya, calling it a
DreaminOfMusic 0
Way to go, op! Not only did you hurt him, you also only "fondled his diddlestick" rather than getting him medical help.
Bigboned38 0
Medical help for that? Have you ever been to the doctor? That's not worth a 500 dollar bill!
DreaminOfMusic 0
She could've at the very least made sure he was ok...
micahsmommy 13
They're in Ireland, I don't believe there would be a bill.
DreaminOfMusic 0
Agh the luck of the irish!
Isoldael 27
Doc's likely to say "just put some ice on it". I'm sure they would have gone to the doctor's office if it looked serious (e.g. his nose being on his face upside down).
olpally 33
Lmao... But seriously, that's very unfortunate... You robbed yourself and him from sex... There's always tomorrow op. Just make sure you don't do that again when things are getting heated again :)