Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML
Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
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Top comments
glittercookies 12
He probably meant on his.
DontClickOnMe 28
Aww, someone has a secret admirer. Too bad, they're rude.
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Comments (120)
freakingabc 0
Lmao
n_epic_fail 14
Someone wants you to chock on THEIR big fat ****, to most people that's an insult... Or an open invitation to enjoy big fat ****.
GreenAppleDP 0
Clearly #1 was so excited to be the first comment, they couldn't think of anything better to say.
ydi_4_suking 20
In German that's how they say they love you
MrSarcasm 4
Well, the Germans are famous for their sausages...
FruityLoooons 8
22 - Or, you know, they just actually found the FML funny.
peachesncreem 21
#20 - Chock. That's new.. How does one do this thing you call chock?
kingnate16 0
German is the language of love
urdirtyolduncle 15
Leave it to google turn a cute, innocent thing like a image of a doggie or a translation of a cute letter into something straight out of a porno gone wrong.
jisaac09 25
@81, Yea I think she realized it and just wanted to make an example of 20. LIke somehow he was less of a person because of a typo. Grammar ******. Too busy correcting things to get any **** to chock on.
edibleamazing 4
86- win
PinkElephants713 6
37- Chock: The choking of the ****. May be preparing a bird for a feast, expressing self pleasure, or giving pleasure to others. ;)
every1luvsvag 10
**** that shit.
every1luvsvag 10
**** that shit
TPSerigne 9
Hey that was very thoughtful if you ask me.
every1luvsvag 10
**** that shit.
every1luvsvag 10
**** that shit.
mama2b3 20
Awhhh that IS cute :)
LookOnBrightSide 12
6-Don't know if cute would be the right word. Creepy and disturbing, yes, but cute...I'm not too sure about that.
mama2b3 20
It was sarcasm, emphasis on the word "is", if you read the fml op refers to it as cute.
nahgemoohc 17
How does emphasis on the word 'is' reflect sarcasm? I tried saying it out loud, even!
boomhauer18 3
Dont listen to them that was funny right there
CRC_101 31
Wait, when is sarcasm accompanied by smiley faces? O_O Ah well. Huzzah, sarcasm! :D
Furrywhiplash 14
In the original post, cute was referring to the physical appearance of the letter and not to the actual content of the letter.
Janawa 22
SEE!!!!! They doggy gets it!
PinkElephants713 6
When sarcasm is hard to detect, a good "BAZINGA" may help to get your point across! ;)
DontClickOnMe 28
Aww, someone has a secret admirer. Too bad, they're rude.
glittercookies 12
He probably meant on his.
chinte42 0
Of course he meant his
ninjuh_wingman 29
Seems like someones in love with you.
jabfinch 9
Atleast they hoped it in another language, it's the thought that counts.